When I joined this forum it was 20 days after my birthday. I was 14. In typical 14 year old fashion, I wanted the people who frequented this forum to respect me and my wisdom. So of course, I lied about my age. I made myself two years older so people would take me seriously. 16. That should do it.

Of course, looking back, it’s ridiculous. All of it. It is odd though that this place holds such a special reservation in my heart. The usernames stuck with me forever. People who haven’t been online since 2009, I still remember vividly and fondly.

I remember roleplaying and writing absolutely awful fan fiction. I remember talking to people and sending PM’s back and forth for hours. I remember Minque, whose fan fiction brought me here, and how it felt for her to encourage my awful teenage writing with zero direction. I wrote myself into a corner and abandoned my first story. I remember the site admins talking about their excitement for Oblivion, which now feels ancient. Their disappointment, which I shared initially, although now I look back on with a gentler sense of judgment.

In the years following I would live so many lives. I would make so many mistakes. It’s insane that I remember so many things from so long ago so vividly. Things that aren’t important to most people. Usernames of people I never and will never meet. Stories that were never finished. Role playing experiences that were half baked and never resolved. I loved it all. It helped me through so much frustration and difficulty as a teenager and into my 20’s.

It’s odd but this place has always been a strange safe haven for me. I made mistakes. I went to prison. It is shameful. I spent over six and a half years there. Still I sometimes wondered what people were posting and what had happened to them. Life is strange. I know this is an odd post. It’s odd to me too.

I just wanted to say thank you to the people who have maintained, moderated, and posted here for the last two decades. This place will always hold a special place in my heart and my mind. I wish some of my favorite people were still here. Or that I knew what happened to them. Maybe part of what makes it special is the anonymity. Maybe being connected to other people because of their interests and not their background or nation of origin is what made it so amazing.

Maybe I’m just 36 and old. Maybe I’m sentimental. I don’t know. Thank you all for bearing with me through my rambling. Thanks for everything.