Yours isn't the only evil presence on this forum my friend...

Oh I'm not evil. I am the Darkness that evil fears.

I am the venom that acts as a cure.

I am the scarred hand that brings retribution.

I am justice. I am the night.

I. AM. NOT. Batman!

But the master of deception doesn't fear the darkness. My evil is too powerful

KoB.

-taps foot with raised eyebrow-

Evil is my squeaky toy.

Fear the dachshund.
















For he may widdle on your shoes.

What did I do

Acadian is a much more useful mod. Bots and spammers alike cower in fear when they see that screen name perusing the forums. If they attempt to spam then they are struck down with prejudice.

Precisely. Even the good guys have Minions.


Oh Lord! It was a joke Acadian, please don't make with the Ban-Hammering!

I dunno man, must've been bad. She looks positively *glowing*!!

I feel like I'm in trouble, lol

Yes- even the mighty dachshund knows to cower in fear from the absolutely-not-pregnant-and-stop-saying-that Liz.

(It was radioactive spiders I tell ya- or possibly guppies).

Or maybe it is simpler than that. To quote no less an authority than Rudyard Kipling:



WHEN the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husbands, each confirms the other's tale—
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations—worm and savage otherwise,—
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger—Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue—to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity—must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions—not in these her honour dwells—
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions—in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!—
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges—even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons—even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish—like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice—which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern—shall enthral but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.


This post has been edited by treydog: Jul 29 2013, 01:32 AM

"GAAAAH! Squirt bottle!"









This post has been edited by mALX: Jul 29 2013, 01:41 AM

Yeah, but I fired mine because I felt cruel even having one!!... ...

I thought you fired him because he wasn't doing a good job as your minion

I'm too poor to pay my minion.

I have to keep him in check with my estrogen-fueled fury.

That's just what the paperwork says... ...

He was as fine a minion as anyone could possibly have *sniff* and that's why keeping him was just too darned difficult a weight to bear anymore...

*Wails and drives off around a pile of tires knocking them over*...

Please tell me I'm not your minion....



It's okay.

He's better off free

Dude, you totally are. We all know it to be so.

In other news, we started learning how to use nanchaku at the academy today, because I'm clearly not dangerous enough already.

I wasn't aware of this!!!!



Hey. The more dangerous you are, the better

Don't know what country you're from but you also might want to practice close range firearm use and disarmament techniques.

Even Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee owned firearms, which says something about hand to hand combat. Even people who are advanced when it comes to unarmed combat felt the need to own firearms and practice techniques to defeat them at close range.

It is also good to know exactly what is legal in your area. Some weapons (like nanchaku) may be illegal to own or carry in your area. It is important to be aware of local laws and restrictions. For instance here in the USA it is illegal to carry switchblade knives or brass knuckles.