I hate it when people say "If you want something bad enough, you'll do it" because I feel like they're telling me I don't want it enough. Mostly because it's accompanied by "You need to go back to school and stop being lazy."

I'm not going to do something until I'm comfortable with it, because if I'm too stressed out about something, I get sick. And that's something people don't understand. I make myself ill worrying about everything. I won't eat, sleep, and will vomit up anything I do eat if I'm too stressed. Piling on school is just...ugh. I didn't have a job the first time around, and I can't imagine doing it now. It was wake up every two hours to feed Snuggles, study as much as I could, do my work, and sleep maybe a half hour. I cannot do that again. No, I won't have a newborn, but it's just frustrating when people tell me "If you want it bad enough, you'll do it."

Yes, I want it. Very badly! But now is NOT the right time to pursue it! They act like I'm not working towards my goal-I am! Just slowly, and at my own pace. I wish people would understand that. Just because I'm not in college NOW doesn't mean I never plan to go.

I didn't take it personal, mAXLie. I was just saying, lol. It goes back to when I was 9 months pregnant and my dad had just had a stroke and was in downtown Houston. I had mentioned on a website for mothers that I had no way to get to him (No money, no car, and the nearest bus stop was ten miles away, and no one was willing to drive me that far) and some woman told me "I guess you don't really want to go see him, then. If you really wanted to, you'd make it happen."

It just makes me angry that some people, not you, lol, judge my situation and think that they know what's best for me and what I SHOULD do. They don't handle my bills, or finances, or are around me on the daily. I can understand friendly advice, but seriously, when it gets to the point where someone is telling me I don't want to go see my dying father because I'm nine months pregnant with high blood pressure and not willing to walk sixty miles...that's what that phrase makes me think of.

To this day, I don't know what she wanted me to to do get there, lol