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> A Brighter Future?, The story of Tara Willow.
Tábrasa
post Dec 12 2011, 12:44 AM
Post #1


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Joined: 11-December 11



Hello! I'll start by introducing myself.

My name is Tábrasa and I'm new to the forums. I've been silently looking at some of the stories on the forums and have felt truly inspired.
Therefore I have decided to start the story of my Breton Wiccan, Tara Willow, who I've been travelling with for the past year. Below is an introduction to Tara, which will soon be followed by the Prologue...

INTRODUCTION TO TARA WILLOW

Tara Willow is a 20 year old female Breton born on the 14th of Rain's Hand, 3E 413.

She is primarily a Conjurer but also dabbles in Destruction and Illusion. She is also handy with a blade in certain situations.

Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother resides somewhere in Cyrodiil, under a new name following events in High Rock that led her to abandon Tara as an infant.

Tara's father was a man obsessed with the art of Mysticism; but in the wrong kind of way. He wanted to experiment the thought of finding a way to turn the human body itself into a soul gem; an experment not only ridiculed, but dangerous.

One day, however, he managed to succeed in his experiment; using a teenage Tara as his unwilling test subject. He managed to trap a spirit withing Tara's body, leaving her in an unusual state.

Tara now has to permanantly live with an extra spirit inside her, who she named Willow, after her surname.
Willow is able to communicate with Tara and take control of her body for brief periods; but only when Tara desperatly need's her assistance. However, Willow's possesions are almost NEVER a good thing.

Currently Tara is on a mission to find her mother, mainly for her own piece of mind. All she knows is that she is in Cyrodiil, but nothing else. The only thing she has to offer any aid in her quest is the memory of her mothers face...

This post has been edited by Tábrasa: Dec 12 2011, 01:17 AM
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mALX
post Jan 13 2012, 09:31 AM
Post #2


Ancient
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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



*

First: Loved the glimpse into some background on Willow!

QUOTE

Tara walked through the city of Farrun, noticing her house on the way. She stopped for a moment to look at it. A lot of bad memories had taken place there. She found out what kind of a man her father was and that scarred her for like.

...but again caught a glimpse of her childhood home on her travels. She stopped and stared intensely and the scene of her horror. She wondered and pondered about what was really going through her fathers mind that day, and she knew that the house had the answers she needed. There were alot of things that her father said that she didn’t understand, things that she wanted to understand.

*

Karliah looked distressed. If only she knew...


What powerful moments you gave the reader in these quoted lines - knowing what happened to her in that house we feel (with her) what Tara must be feeling at these moments; and again with Tara's inner thoughts as Karliah was sympathizing with her.

These were really great ways to remind us of what Tara had been through and draw us into how it is still affecting her now.

The fact that she has to hear him praised and revered knowing what she does - and put on a false front of agreement - you absolutely ROCKED this chapter in the use of touches such as these to completely immerse us in Tara's position - Awesome job !!

I found myself wanting to yell, "Don't go in the basement!" when Tara entered the house, but knew she would be drawn to because she was sure that answer to why would be found there.


QUOTE

She slowly approached the lab. She could feel something burning within her. Anger? Hate? Sadness? She wasn’t sure. All the emotions she felt that day came flooding back hard and fast, forcing itself into her weakening calm demeanour. Before she knew what to thing she screamed, casting an incredible shock spell that knocked the majority of her father’s things onto the wooden floor.

With her remaining strength he sprinted to the things still standing and threw them at the walls. When there was nothing left to throw and no more words to scream she collapsed in tears, breaking down; the break down her body had craved since the incident.


This was a gut-wrenching, emotional scene - very hard to accomplish, but you nailed it perfectly! Very powerfully done, written so well that the reader could easily visualize it as if we were present and witnessed it ourselves - Awesome job!

*

The Letter:

If I was Tara reading that letter, I'd have to go find Riccard and kill him all over again - how easy and simply he can dismiss what he plans to do to her, dismissing how it will affect her - Oddly, it had the opposite effect on her, lol.

QUOTE

Despite what he’d done and how he’d treated her he was still her father.


Not really, not when he admits he created her specifically for an experiment and didn't care how that experiment would affect her - that is sperm donation for research. The fact that his sperm was used is the only connection he has to fatherhood, especially when we've read how he treated her growing up.

*

My thoughts:

For some reason I wondered if it was her mother's warmth and comfort she was feeling - and she probably was safe now that Riccard was dead.

I'm not sure that I wouldn't have rather seen her struggle to come to that forgiveness, probably because I'm sure you would have brought us through it as well as you did Tara's thoughts in this chapter.

Coming as quickly as it did leaves me wondering if she considers herself in the same mindframe her father did when he created her specifically for/raised her as: (worthless except as a useful tool to his experiments regardless of how it affected anyone else)

It feels like she is muting her own worth just like her father did, and minimizing the evil of what he was.

*

I have to agree with McB, you showed a tremendous ability in doing two completely different characters in the same chapter - that is talent!

I also have to agree with SubRosa here:

QUOTE

Who is this Palmer? And who is the rogue mage Willow was sent to hunt? I wonder if we will be seeing either of them again later in the tale?


Agreed, was wondering the exact same thing and couldn't have phrased it better!

I'm so glad I waited, didn't try to read this while fighting off that migraine. Reading then would not have done justice to the Awesome write you gave us on this chapter.

*


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Tábrasa   A Brighter Future?   Dec 12 2011, 12:44 AM
SubRosa   Hi Tábrasa! You have an interesting concept. T...   Dec 12 2011, 01:16 AM
Tábrasa   Hi Tábrasa! You have an interesting concept. ...   Dec 12 2011, 01:25 AM
SubRosa   Yes she is a Wiccan, but I really want to downloa...   Dec 12 2011, 01:49 AM
Tábrasa   All I have to say is WOW. This kind of lore you ...   Dec 12 2011, 01:55 AM
SubRosa   All I have to say is WOW. This kind of lore you h...   Dec 12 2011, 02:22 AM
Acadian   A very warm welcome to you, Tabrasa! As one w...   Dec 12 2011, 03:23 AM
mALX   The concept for your story is fascinating! W...   Dec 12 2011, 03:33 AM
King Coin   Very interesting character you have. Sounds like s...   Dec 12 2011, 05:12 AM
McBadgere   I had a bit of a thing for Willow meself... :P ......   Dec 12 2011, 07:25 AM
Tábrasa   Everyone, thank you so much for your warm welcomes...   Dec 12 2011, 12:12 PM
McBadgere   Charming fellow that dad there... :huh: ... An ex...   Dec 12 2011, 02:00 PM
mALX   GAAAAH !!! Her father is a necromance...   Dec 12 2011, 07:13 PM
King Coin   Great start! Poor Tara though. Dad just found ...   Dec 12 2011, 08:36 PM
SubRosa   Tara is from Farrun I see? So I guess that makes h...   Dec 12 2011, 09:03 PM
Acadian   A wonderful start! Well, not for Tara I guess...   Dec 13 2011, 01:50 AM
Athynae   Poor Tara, witnessing such an encounter as a young...   Dec 13 2011, 02:38 AM
Grits   Yikes. Tara has had a heck of a time already, and ...   Dec 13 2011, 03:32 AM
liliandra nadiar   Good, wince worthy (in all the good ways) start. T...   Dec 13 2011, 03:43 AM
Tábrasa   First of all I want to thank all of you SO MUCH fo...   Dec 15 2011, 08:59 PM
Fawkes   She watched as he opened a secret door under a ...   Dec 16 2011, 04:32 AM
SubRosa   Now we are getting some answers. Including why Jad...   Dec 16 2011, 02:09 AM
Acadian   What a beautiful job you do here of setting the sc...   Dec 16 2011, 03:42 AM
McBadgere   Blimey...He really is a lovely chap...I know sever...   Dec 16 2011, 05:31 AM
King Coin   “We cannot have you getting too attached to her.”...   Dec 16 2011, 06:02 AM
mALX   Holy Cow, this is like watching a horror movie...   Dec 17 2011, 04:16 AM
Grits   Very exciting. I'm still on the edge of my sea...   Dec 19 2011, 10:18 PM
Athynae   Hey McB you bring your chaps and I'll call up ...   Dec 19 2011, 11:15 PM
Tábrasa   SubRosa: Thank you so much for reading :) As to yo...   Dec 23 2011, 01:22 AM
Acadian   What a horrible experience! Then saved by Ale...   Dec 23 2011, 02:43 AM
McBadgere   *Applauds*... :D ... I have to say, I chickened...   Dec 23 2011, 05:50 AM
jack cloudy   Oh, this is interesting. I'm not sure where it...   Dec 23 2011, 06:29 PM
liliandra nadiar   Nice chapter, 'poor' Riccard. Compromising...   Dec 23 2011, 07:12 PM
SubRosa   Yay for Aleksander! Too bad he had not spitted...   Dec 23 2011, 10:07 PM
King Coin   :O If only Aleksander had arrived but a little soo...   Dec 27 2011, 03:56 PM
mALX   I have to agree, even knowing Willow would soon po...   Jan 10 2012, 02:10 AM
Tábrasa   mALX: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you...   Jan 12 2012, 02:01 AM
Athynae   Nice segment Tabrasa. I really liked the peek at W...   Jan 12 2012, 03:26 AM
mALX   Nice segment Tabrasa. I really liked the peek at ...   Jan 12 2012, 03:31 AM
Acadian   What a neat glimpse of ancient history from Willow...   Jan 12 2012, 03:29 AM
Athynae   um, not necessarily, remember mALX I have my own l...   Jan 12 2012, 03:34 AM
mALX   um, not necessarily, remember mALX I have my own ...   Jan 12 2012, 03:37 AM
Athynae   Imagine if you will, just for a moment, a five bla...   Jan 12 2012, 03:46 AM
mALX   Imagine if you will, just for a moment, a five bl...   Jan 12 2012, 03:57 AM
Athynae   Sorry Tabrasa, we'll go play in the Coffee Sho...   Jan 12 2012, 04:06 AM
McBadgere   *Tuts*...Be'ave you two!...Blimey!... ...   Jan 12 2012, 06:52 AM
SubRosa   A moving start, giving us a peek into Willow's...   Jan 12 2012, 11:01 PM
King Coin   the most awfully wailing sound screeching from t...   Jan 14 2012, 01:11 AM
Tábrasa   Athynae: Thank you. There will be more about Willo...   Jan 25 2012, 12:02 AM
Athynae   I wonder if Tara will be diplomatic and reserved w...   Jan 25 2012, 01:20 AM
mALX   Willow is hilarious in this chapter (example: “H...   Jan 25 2012, 01:27 AM
King Coin   That explains how he remembered to go over to the ...   Jan 25 2012, 01:45 AM
Acadian   ‘Willow suggested, looking at Tara through her ref...   Jan 25 2012, 02:15 AM
McBadgere   Cool... :D ... Looking forward to seeing how much...   Jan 25 2012, 05:15 AM
Fawkes   Ohhh this was awesome! “Honey, I...   Jan 25 2012, 08:22 PM
SubRosa   A wonderful update. Like the others, I also loved ...   Jan 25 2012, 11:48 PM
Tábrasa   Athynae: I'm so glad that you are enjoying the...   Jan 30 2012, 05:06 PM
mALX   * SPEW !!! ROFL !! I coul...   Jan 30 2012, 06:22 PM
Acadian   This was wonderfully written and I so enjoyed bein...   Jan 31 2012, 01:36 AM
SubRosa   I loved Tara trying to take off her bra underneath...   Jan 31 2012, 08:40 PM
McBadgere   Naughty Willow... :huh: ...That was rude...I'd...   Feb 1 2012, 05:23 AM
Grits   I like the way Tara and Willow can see one another...   Feb 2 2012, 04:12 PM
Tábrasa   Just thought i'd explain my absence for the re...   Mar 27 2012, 01:36 PM
Grits   Yay, welcome back! :)   Mar 27 2012, 01:43 PM
Acadian   Thanks so much for checking in! We were getti...   Mar 27 2012, 02:54 PM
Tábrasa   mALX: Thank you so much! I'm very glad you...   Mar 27 2012, 10:57 PM
Acadian   I'm delighted to see you continuing this! ...   Mar 28 2012, 12:36 AM
McBadgere   Oooh!!... :D ... Excellent stuff!...   Mar 28 2012, 04:21 AM
mALX   Yeah! You're back! I loved how Tara ...   Mar 28 2012, 04:53 PM
SubRosa   I loved your dig at the jungled Cyrodiil. Funny ho...   Mar 28 2012, 11:26 PM
Grits   Unseen birds, I like that! :D “I own a sho...   Mar 30 2012, 01:20 AM
King Coin   Interesting, I think Willow took some liberties wi...   Mar 30 2012, 02:16 AM
Tábrasa   Acadian: I'm so glad that you waited so patien...   Apr 3 2012, 08:55 PM
Acadian   You painted a wonderfully gradual picture of sixth...   Apr 4 2012, 01:41 AM
McBadgere   Brilliant!!... Told you he was odd!...   Apr 4 2012, 04:28 AM
King Coin   Oh cool. Nothing like a weird guy leading you into...   Apr 5 2012, 01:48 AM
SubRosa   So The Stranger - Argenor - owns the original All ...   Apr 6 2012, 10:19 PM
Andrea   I can't stress how much I love this! As so...   Apr 11 2012, 11:05 PM


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