QUOTE(haute ecole rider @ May 7 2018, 07:08 PM)
Infodump?? What info dump?
For the most part the exposition was minimal, I liked how you used Aela's memories as a means of providing information of herself and her world, which strikes me as being quite the far cry from Tamriel.
And yet, I felt at home here, in this world you've created for Aela. She was instantly recognizable, as was Loria as Ungarion 2.0. I loved how the two worked together and balanced different magics to form a cohesive whole.
Oh, and the way Aela perceives magic? That's exactly how I imagined witches, shamans and medicine men/women see their worlds. It feels like the Bosmer worldview taken up to notch eleven.
And starting in the middle of an action piece, ah, my favorite way to start a story off (or a chapter, for that matter . . .)
Hope you keep this up - I really want to see where Aela and Loria go after this!
You missed most of the Telling. By the time you got to it I had already edited the worst offenders out. But I have still been making some edits. In fact I just changed the second paragraph a few minutes ago.
I am basing Aela's experience with magic on my own experience as a Witch. Also on several pen and paper RPGs like Shadowrun and Earthdawn (some of whose writers were also Witches, like Steve Kenson). One thing I find myself coming back to a lot is: "As above, so below", and how one world affects the other.
QUOTE(Renee @ May 8 2018, 09:01 AM)
QUOTE(haute ecole rider @ May 7 2018, 07:08 PM)
Infodump?? What info dump?
I didn't notice this either, not that it makes any difference to me.
That is kind of you to say. It is much better now.