CLICKI hope you don’t mind one last comment!
When I first saw the title of this I thought you were doing an homage to the David Fincher flick starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. Then I saw that you were tackling Kurosawa. I think we spoke of the original vs. the hollywood version before (and the tv show, if I’m not mistaken). For my personal taste I always found Kurosawa’s version to be too ponderous for me, so I prefer the western (plus how can you resist Steve McQueen shaking those shotgun shells?).
Something I’ve noticed in your writing is the absence of the self-consciousness that the early parts of the TF possessed. You have become the complete master of your craft now, evidenced by your remarkable ability to let your characters have the stage.
Now onto the story itself:
Calvera Dark Eye entered the stage with the perfect amount of menace. I like how you’ve chosen to represent the Naga. I also like that we are in Black Marsh, a segment of Tamriel that has yet to be presented in any of the games.
Aela and Ungarion are a well matched pair. Where the Altmer is vain, the Breton is self conscious. You do an admirable job of communicating their different personalities from the moment they take over the story.
So where does one find people without ties who have the hunger for impossible odds without the promise of adequate compensation? At the tavern, of course!
I already love Aela and Ungarion!
Nashira’s character intrigued me the moment I laid eyes ears upon her. How could she not, being a fellow Redguard and all? Plus she’s playing the laconic James Coburn roll, with a little bit of a wandering samurai feel. She also seems to be wearing the solids that mark her as a Crown (rather than Forebear stripes). That might be purely coincidence, however. But, with rumors of her being an
Ansei, such a political affiliation only makes sense. I also have to admit that, like h.e.r, I found Seridwe to be a little too impressive. Chalk up another who has watched too many old martial arts movies!
Valens’ introduction came with a drastic new take on Azura’s Star. Your logic in changing the enchantment is sound. That was something that always bothered me as well. I just chalked it up to the fact that, no matter how much we may want her to be, Azura is not a goddess. She is still a Daedric Prince, and being such, she is not bound to the strict confines of morality that mortals adhere to. I am also of the opinion that anyone who decides to forever scar an entire race (one whom she professed to favor, no less) in a fit of pique should not be looked upon as completely benevolent.
Horst Buchholz Talun-Lei is exactly what I expected him to be, given the preponderance of Argonians in this story (which I love, btw. I wish I had more Argonians around in my own work!). I thought it interesting that he would be discouraged from joining by Valens of all people. I thought such discouragement might come from Aela, or perhaps Do’Sakhar. The choice of making it Valens gives him more depth as a character. Especially after he takes the young Argonian under his wing for the spear training sessions. Now he’s starting to remind me of Pappy from the TF!
I’m also left wondering if Talun-Lei’s race was chosen to make it easier for him to follow the boat!
And it seems that someone has followed in Scotti’s trail (from a research perspective that is). I just loved
The Argonian Account!
QUOTE
“Now we are seven.”
Indeed!
The details you go into describing the village, people, and customs makes Agrigento a vivid setting in the reader’s mind. Too often details like that are overlooked, to the writer’s detriment. I especially liked the fact that it is Talun-Lei who teaches his comrades the proper customs surrounding
soju.
And now, thanks to his interactions with the children, I discover that Do’Sakhar is the Charles Bronson of this homage. His death in the movie gets me every time! Now I am anticipating
Calvera’s Dark Eye’s return with even more dread! Damn!
You have always been adept at filling those moments that constitute the calm before the proverbial storm. It is nice to see that some things don’t change. The anticipation is ramping up on this end of the monitor. Remembering your description of the Battle of Bruma fifty or so years ago (at least that’s how long it feels that I’ve been away
), I can’t wait to see what you have in store when the bandits finally return.
But, before that can happen, we have to establish the blossoming romance between Talun-Lei and Meen-Sa. The scene between the two was a simple one, but the subtext was thick enough to cut.
And, finally, it was nice to see the mercenaries (though I’m not sure that’s the right word for them anymore... protectors maybe? defenders?) feeding the children of the village (jambalaya too... to quote Acadian “Yum!”). Stalks’ comment about them being one was spot on!
Aela’s healing of the Naga scout highlights the best thing about having magic available as a tool in this world. You can get really creative in the means and applications for its use. It is rare when a writer is equally effective in scenes of action and character developement. It is even rarer when a writer can have character developement in an action scene. I’m still waiting for Do’Sakhar’s inevitable fall... and I find myself wondering who else will never leave Agrigento.
Okay, so far I’ve been reading a chapter... then adding a comment. I can’t do that anymore because
Calvera Dark Eye has returned. I’ll be back to sum up my opinion of this terrific story you have weaved for us when I finish.
...
Okay, I’m back... and I’m angry! WHY OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL OFF NASHIRA?????!!!!!!!
The only Redguard in the whole story and she has to die at the end! That reminds me of every horror movie cliche in hollywood!
Just kidding, ‘Rosa. The final battles were absolutely epic! I have nothing to say beyond the mountain of praise already heaped upon you for this great story except to say that I think Kurosawa would have been proud. Oh, and thanks for not killing off Do’Sakhar!
I can totally see Tom Hiddleston as Ungarion, and it's nice to see that someone else likes
The Borgias as much as I do!