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> Unshelled Bullets, First Fan fiction Draught
King Coin
post Jul 7 2011, 01:58 AM
Post #21


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QUOTE(grif11 @ Jul 6 2011, 05:08 PM) *

Coin - I'm still not sure how to include Boone without doing one of the worst fanfic crimes ive seen loads of times: Just write about your character doing the main quest line. devilsad.gif I promise I'll find a way, though

You do not have to I was just curious.


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grif11
post Jul 11 2011, 08:46 PM
Post #22


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Here it is, AT LAST!

Chapter 3:Taking Flight


The promised funeral was short, but that was usual in the wasteland. All the townspeople attended to pay there respects to the man who guarded them. Afterwards he was buried behind his house, now mine as stated in his will. Its never felt right when I've been in there. It's probably because my first time in it was also the worst.

After the Funeral I was presented with the old key by Dan, who gave me a handful of caps "So I could take care of myself". Back in the old bungalow, I went back to the open box Eagle had me open. First was the note. At least I thought it was a note, but after unfolding it I was greeted by the two headed bear of the NCR. Eagle had served with them for ten years, and one of my favorite things he would do is share his stories of fights against the legion and his other wars. It was a recommendation form, signed by Ranger Eagle. I couldn't believe it, Eagle had been an NCR ranger, and had recommended me for recruitment!

Second was the satchel. Inside was Eagles old binoculars, a combat knife, and a beret with a familiar insignia on it: A bears skull with two crossed rifles behind it. The sign of 1st Recon battalion. So, a ranger AND part of an elite sniper team. Why did he never tell me this? I thought.
Finally, the little PDA. Flicking the switch, the word "Audi0" appeared on the screen, and an audio-log began to play:

Raymond I hope this this is working, I paid that merchant half my caps for this piece of scrap! Anyway, You've probably found that recommendation I've given you. God this sounds weird to me, speaking for a future you! In short, You need to make a living, and I couldn't bear to think of you a a scavenger, so you need to make your way to Camp McCarran and seek colonel Hsu. He can help you. Theres a map stored on this piece of junk that should show you any and all points of interest an explorer has noted down. It should come in handy to you. And son, don't forget. You're the Eagle.

Obviously, a child isn't going to be allowed to simply walk out of a civilized place to go trekking across the Mojave. And I wasn't stupid enough to try. Fortunately, a trader had stopped in town."Um, excuse me," I asked the trader who was sitting in the makeshift cafe in the outskirts of town."Where are you going when you leave Novac?"
"Well, I'm hoping to head up to new Vegas. the omertas paid me to- wait, why're you asking?"
"Well, um, I need to go to camp Make a ran," I said sheepishly.
"Where!?" The trader was staring as me in disbelief, as if i'd just clambered out of a vault.
"Erm, where colonel Shoe is,"Now I felt like Eagle was just playing a game with me.
"Son, are you alright in the head?" Then I had an idea. I took the recommendation and showed it to him.
"Who did yo steal this from, you numpty?"
"Sir, I was given this! Ea-Ranger Eagle just, past. This is what he gave me. please, just read this!"

As the trader skimmed over the form occasionaly nodding his head, I grew more and more hopeful. Sure enough, he looked up and said to me "That's camp McCarran, and Colonel HSU, kid. OK, that's not too far from Vegas, i'll take you there. On one condition, you gotta help pack and unpack the Brahmin."

"Deal!"

The NCR logo:

IPB Image



The 1st Recon Logo:

IPB Image

This post has been edited by grif11: Jul 11 2011, 08:56 PM


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~Salutes~ I am dave! Yognaught.

Unshelled Bullets - A weary sniper tells his story of law and sacrifice.
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mALX
post Jul 11 2011, 10:59 PM
Post #23


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Oooh, is he going to join the NCR? Really smart to join up with a trade caravan! Great Write !!!


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old Andy
post Jul 15 2011, 09:02 AM
Post #24


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As a former scout sniper with the 1st recc -marines, not NCR biggrin.gif



you do me proud son smile.gif
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King Coin
post Jul 16 2011, 04:33 AM
Post #25


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I'm happy he's joining up with the NCR. I never liked their leaders, but I hated the Legion. I used the Hammer of Dawn Archimedes II on Caesar and his goons.


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treydog
post Jul 17 2011, 03:46 PM
Post #26


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Caught up with- and caught up IN- this story. Great stuff, grif11!

Pulled out this one quote which says a great deal in a few words:

"Its never felt right when I've been in there. It's probably because my first time in it was also the worst."



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The dreams down here aren't broken, nah, they're walkin' with a limp...

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grif11
post Jul 31 2011, 07:06 PM
Post #27


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Sorry this took so long, but I've been distracted by some other fanfics. Lets call it research.

Chapter 4: Brahmin and Bandits


If I had to say anything about that journey, it would be that it showed me how much the bombs had changed the world. The Mojave itself is basically the same, just less trees and more irradiated craters. However, places called Washington and Illinois used to be giant cities, filled with huge buildings and filled with people in fancy suits. At least that's what the caravaneers told me. It's hard to believe when your whole world is a ruined motel and a dinosaur statue.

Anyway, the journey took us about two days that just seemed to fly by. Maybe it was all the sites I was seeing that made the time go by. The trader I talked to turned out to be a real friendly guy and would point out points of interest, like HELIOS 1 and the El Dorado Dry Lake. I tried to make something that resembled a map, but quickly gave up. Illiteracy didn't help.There's one problem though. Small caravans in the wasteland are the perfect target for groups of raiders and cazadors who breed too close to the roads. But we faced a different enemy on our journey.

It was early morning, just after my daily Brahmin feeding when I spotted some shapes running at me not too far away. After looking through the old binoculars, I saw some men dressed in odd armour, charging towards us. I had seen a couple groups of raiders before, back when I had been with Eagle, but these men looked different. They seemed more organised and trained. Anyway, after spotted them I quickly ran over to the others. "Raiders! About six, 3 carrying 9 millimeter SMG's and 3 with hunting rifles. All of them had Machetes"
"Good work alerting us, kid. But how did you see all that so fa-" One of the mercenaries began, before being cut off by an explosion.

After the dust settled from the dynamite, I saw them, much closer now. Each bore a symbol of a bull on their armour, and were they wearing skirts!? They began throwing spears at the startled crew, hitting one in the leg and another in the back of the head.I decided that now wasn't time to fight, and ran for my life. Only one spear chased me, and landed to my side. Who are they? and why are they in skirts? I thought to myself while I crouched behind a rock, peeking out to see how things were going.

The caravaneers had taken up arms and had began fighting back against the skirtmen, but I could see it was looking bad. They were armed with only pistols and a couple of shotguns, and were three men down. I had to help them. Taking my rifle off my back, I aimed at one of the skirtsmen. I had learned that the best thing to do when facing a new enemy is learn where he wasnt protected well. In this case, the legs were an obvious choice. However, there was armor in only a few places on their torso, and their heads were covered in nothing but some sort of mask and goggle combo. Good against sandstorms, but not against bullets. The men were fast on their feet however, and had now drawn their machetes and were carving up the crew. fter a few misfire, I finally caught one. I was shocked when his head just exploded into some sort of gory paste, but thats life in the wasteland for you.

The fight finally ended, and I had three more kills to my name. We had just survived and now we were a caravan of four. me, two mercenaries, the trader I met, and two Brahmin. One less than when we started with. But on the upside, two less mouths for me to feed.

The mysterious Skirtsmen:

IPB Image

This post has been edited by grif11: Jul 31 2011, 07:12 PM


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~Salutes~ I am dave! Yognaught.

Unshelled Bullets - A weary sniper tells his story of law and sacrifice.
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treydog
post Aug 1 2011, 01:51 AM
Post #28


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Woo Hoo! Update! I like the fact that you show Raymond as being unseasoned- and smart enough to know it. The learning process makes for a much more interesting character.

Edited to fix mistake on the name- darned short dachshund attention-span!

This post has been edited by treydog: Aug 1 2011, 07:11 PM


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The dreams down here aren't broken, nah, they're walkin' with a limp...

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Grits
post Aug 1 2011, 03:28 PM
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Whew, a fight! Ray gets some experience with his rifle. I like that he took cover first, I think Eagle would approve. Between your screenshot and the Fallout wiki, I’m keeping up. smile.gif


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grif11
post Aug 1 2011, 05:33 PM
Post #30


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yikes, I've forgotten the chorrol fanfic tradition. Respond to comments. Lets do chapter 3 comments onward this time.

mALX - yes, we have a little-NCR-sniper-to-be. Might take a while till we get to the real NCR tour of duty, but I'm committed to this little fanfic now.

Andy - Wow, didn't know you served the marines. I salute you!

king Coin - Yeah, I never liked them either. I only joined them once, and for the record, I was good AND it was only for the achievements.

Treydog no.1 - Having a very successful writer comment on my first attempt of fanfiction is very motivating. I hope I can keep coming up with little phrases like that.

Treydog no.2 - TBH, I never thought Raymond being "unseasoned" could help with development, but now I know better.

grits - I'm glad you can follow along all right.

All - The next chapter should be in about a week, or maybe less! (Whenever I'm in a writing mood biggrin.gif )


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mALX
post Aug 21 2011, 12:53 PM
Post #31


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His first kill kind of brings the reader back to Eagle's teaching him to shoot. His initial shock at the gore (followed quickly by that numbed response, "thats life in the wasteland for you") shows how quickly he is adapting to a survival mode out there in the wasteland. Must be kind of a shock after living in the protection of a town all his life, and you showed that really well with this chapter!! Awesome Write !!!


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grif11
post Oct 7 2011, 11:24 PM
Post #32


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Well, since caboose has made his own fan fiction already, I'm gonna slap myself in the face and get back to writing! I've neglected my writing for ages, but Im gonna stop that now! smile.gif


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Grits
post Oct 7 2011, 11:36 PM
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I'm glad to hear it, grif! smile.gif


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