You forgot War and Pestilence, Foxy! Knowing Maxical my guess is the bugs. Where, oh where is the Raid when you need it?

I am completely and helplessly adrift in this story. You said that you can see an end to the Arena episode of Maxical’s adventures. I can’t for the life of me imagine how you are going to tie this whole thing up, but the way your mind works I’m sure it’s going to be GREAT!!!

Finally caught up!!
Wow, what on earth has happened to the story in the last month?!!?

Just when I thought I had read it all, mALX has once again taken us all to that next level. The conversation where Traven was giving female advice to Fathis was beyond belief, one the best and funniest things I've ever read. That was so good to come up with that idea, ha, ha.

The fight in the bloodworks was writing with awesome description and was so real it was frightening. Did Foxy have a hand in composing it? If not, then I stand and applaud.

I agree with Destri, what is going on with women wanting to WUSSIFY every male in the whole world??
Come on, let us submit to our base male instincts, it is all with have left, please??

Aradroth approves of the greedy teat of the Night Mother, awesome mALX.

I am still left in awe how this story (like an out of control horse) is going to join up with the assassin part of the plotline. But if anybody can, it is certainly mALX!!!!!!!



And as for this, I am quite simply in shock. BRILLIANT.

No, Wolf, it was not me - it was all mALX!!!

The student now surpasses the master!!!

The bloodworks fight (2 vs the horde) was as good as anything I have read. The clawing, the punching, the tail slap against the wall really brought a visceral edge to the scene. mALX has certainly expanded her combat creativity in a frighteningly short period of time. Wow!!

I'm Baaaaaack - I will answer these wonderful comments ASAP, thank you all for them!

Aaaaaaand becauuuuse she's back this thread goes toooooo the fronnnnt....thus making her back to fronnnnt...

mALX, I can't even begin to imagine what you went through. I missed you and Maxical though.

(I still tread carefully near the top of the stairs in the Tiber Septim Hotel in case the floor is a bit slippery )

@ Foxy - you got one right...two if you wait a few chapters, lol. Thank you so much Foxy!!! No one has to tell you how much you ROCK! - and thank you so much for your poems, you can't imagine how much they meant to me!

***
@ Olen - Thank you so much Olen! That actually was inspired, I was cleaning...lol. Just kidding...or not!

***
@ Acadian - you got it! Although in Maxical's case I doubt she is doing it deliberately, lol. Thank you so much Acadian!

***
@ Destri - It may be ...rodents... - and I finally did tie it in the other night! Although it is several chapters down the road from now, lol. But - YEAH!!!! Thank you so very much Destri!

***
@ Winter Wolf - Just because you have requested it I have based out my men in the story...uh oh. Thank you so much for your kind words about the fight scenes! Of course I get my knowledge of fighting from Foxy, and my knowledge of cat behavior from Hauty (and stepping out on my deck to see the feral cats going at each other) - but Foxy was AWOL when that was written, I had to go by my memory and glancing back over HIS thread on the BGSF, lol. He won't take the credit, but deserves it! You ROCK Wolf !!!!

***
@ MyCat - ROFL !!!! I have been trying to find a way to keep that scene in this rewrite, lol. You can thank Foxy for that one too! It was his idea. Thank you so much MyCat!

***
@ Everyone - You all know what I have been going through I am sure. My X was diagnosed with cancer in May and died in July. The last couple months were a nightmare as he went downhill daily.

I just want to say how much all of you helped me through it with your kind words and thoughts. You all are AWESOME friends, and I feel very lucky to have such supportive people help me through what was a terribly trying time in both my and my son's life. You all ROCK!

*


Chapter 33: Agronak Strikes Back


“I am the son of a Lord and the Grand Champion, and thanks to Andronicus I am broke.” Agronak roared and slapped at the bush nearest him, sending a spray of blossoms fluttering in the air.

A contrast was drawn in my mind between Fathis shelling out so much to orphans and needy families and Agronak complaining too much was spent on the funeral of his mother.

“Fathis always…” I started but Agronak cut me off mid sentence.

“Do you realize how many times you mention Fathis when we speak? It can get on a person’s nerves to hear it all the time.”

It took everything in me to hold back the words that fought to fly out of me, to hold back the fists that wanted to rain on his glass jaw like a windmill in a storm. I had to keep telling myself that the man was suffering a breakdown from the loss of his mother to keep myself under control. I had given Owyn my word I would try to get him to drop charges on Andronicus, I needed to do it and leave.

“Agronak, since it is the funds that are upsetting you, I am returning your house to you. You may need it to live in if Haki bans you from his Bloodworks, and I can’t have my name on it since you have continued to come and go from it with a key anyway. Please drop the charges against Andronicus, she wouldn’t steal from you. She did nothing wrong. I would not ask it if I thought she had.”

“I don’t want the house back. I want you to move into it. Besides, I already tried to drop charges against Andronicus this morning. The Elders refused, they said I was toying with them.”

“You should tell that to Jack Thompson, maybe he can help.”

“I’ll go right now, meet me later and I’ll tell you what he said.”

“I can’t, Owyn has us on three-a-days and a three day rotation, remember?”

“I don’t like this at all. You are changed, everything feels different between us.”

“Being arrested as a thief has that effect on me, Agronak. I‘d say you’ll be noticing differences in your friendships with Owyn and Andronicus after this as well.”





***

He was right about things changing and being different. He had always been so sweet and gentle. Now he was…a stranger. The arrests showed a side to Agronak I had never seen before, but from what Andronicus told me it may have always been there. How could I have missed it? Even I’m not that dumb, he had to have put on an act…but why?

Even if this was temporary and brought on by grief, our friendship had suffered irreparable damage. Any pangs I may have felt at the loss of the friendship we had shared was devoured by the anger his words and actions fueled, and the deliberate harm he had done to my relationship with Fathis.

Knowing he had deceived another girl using that same ring trick created an inert catalyst that honed my senses. Every word or action of his was minutely inspected and motives sought, there had to be a reason he did these things to me.

There is a point where anger either dissipates or grows cold and vengeful. Today’s conversation with Agronak drove the fire to ice inside me. Cold anger lingers and festers. It is passionless and cunning. It waits for the right timing and lays traps.

I didn’t confront him over that ring today even though the words stung my brain with their desire to be let fly at him. My ruin by him had been public, his realization that he had chosen the wrong target for his trick and been bested would be aired just as publicly.

“If Gils touches you I‘ll kill him! You can’t trust him Maxical, he knows how to get you to let down your defenses. He uses his wiles till he’s got you, then he’s on to the next.”

“Agronak, it is not your place to be concerned over my virtue. That is for Fathis and me to worry about, and no one else. Fathis would be the injured party if anyone touched me, not you.“ As I said the words I saw rage filling his eyes, then just as suddenly it was gone and he looked…like the Agronak I had always known.

The reason for his metamorphosis became clear as I turned to walk away from him. Hassiri was hurrying toward us. He would speak to Agronak first, that was protocol because he was the Grand Champion. I walked briskly the rest of the way to the Bloodworks and waited for Hassiri outside the gate, watching him interviewing Agronak.

Agronak was the smiling, good natured Orc I had known before. It was all there, even the half closed eyes and quiet gentle voice. The tones he had used with me just moments before had been…superior, almost controlling. If grief was causing his behavior to change, he wouldn’t be able to turn it off and act normal when the press showed up. What was going on?

I waited closer to my Bloodworks for Hassiri. Agronak followed him over to me, smiling sweetly.

“Jack Thompson notified us that it was an error you and Owyn were arrested. I’m putting out a Special Edition to cover it. Do you have a minute?” Hassiri held his pad.

I smiled. “I always have time for you Hassiri. Owyn appreciated the article you did on the arrests, he gave me these passes to the manager’s box and said to make sure you got them.”

We have to pay for the passes we hand out, so most fighters only give out gate passes to the press as a courtesy. That only gets them in the gate, but they sit among the general population. I always did before too, but Andronicus told me to fork out the extra Septims and give out passes to the managers box for the press. She said the better you treat them, the better they will treat you when they cover some screw-up you’ve done. I could use that kind of help with my track record.

“Do you know when Ysabel Andronicus will be released?”

“Jack Thompson has given us reason to believe it should be any day now. She is innocent of any charges brought against her, it is just a matter of bureaucratic wheels turning slowly at this point. Owyn requested that in the absence of Andronicus you would allow me to contact you if anything comes up.”

Hassiri glanced up at me, instantly alert. That is Andronicus’s code for something big is coming, and next I held up one finger briefly. That means we will be giving him the exclusive. He flushed and smiled.

“Certainly, it would be my pleasure. I will be around the office for the next few days if you need me.”

I gave a slight shake of my head, then let him know when it would be. “Will you be covering the music festival?”

“Yes I will, couldn’t miss that! Will you be attending?”

“Yes, although not till the afternoon. I have quite a bit to do in the morning, having taken over Andronicus‘s duties.” That let him know I would need him in the morning.

Agronak was behind Hassiri smiling sweetly, but when I said that I was going to the music festival his expression froze and for a split second his eyes glittered in what looked like sheer hatred. It was gone so fast…had it been a trick of the sunlight? A chill went down my spine and I felt the hairs raising on my arms.

Andronicus had taught me well. She told me Hassiri was obviously in my corner because of the good coverage we got over the arrests. That meant he would print the facts, but whenever possible the words would be given a slight bias so as to do the least harm to my reputation. It is always good to have a reporter in your corner, and I would do everything I could to make sure he stayed there.

Andronicus had advised me early on to keep Hassiri well stocked with perks whenever possible. The rings I had given him amounted to a huge perk, that must have been what put him in my corner.





***

As Hassiri walked away I turned and hurried toward the Bloodworks door. Just as I was reaching for the latch I felt a crushing grip on my shoulder that jerked me around and I found myself facing Agronak. The only thing that kept me standing through the excruciating pain was rage that he had laid hands on me. If it wasn’t for the fact that I could now barely move my sword arm I would have driven the hilt of my sword through his glass jaw.

“You ARE going to the music festival…what did you mean by that? You act like you have made plans to go without me!” Agronak was angry at me, something I had never seen before.

“Agronak, we are not on Arena grounds. Laying hands on me here is an assault. Arrests go both ways you know. I am most definitely going, and absolutely without you. You seem to have forgotten that you had me arrested. My name was in the Courier as a thief, a paper that Fathis, my parents, and my friends will be seeing. You are acting as if you have rights with me that belong only to Fathis. The festival will be a public function that may be attended by Fathis, and your presence by my side agitates him. Considering your actions today I consider our friendship at an end.” I made sure I said Fathis’s name as many times as possible, since he had said it irritated him.

Without looking back I left him standing there. It had taken every bit of self control I posses not to scream in pain from my shoulder, and the only reason I hadn‘t drawn on him was because I couldn‘t. It nagged my mind that he was fine while Hassiri was there. If grief was the cause, he could not have pulled it together and been lucid at will. I tried to look back on the last months and think of any time there was a discrepancy in the pleasant man he seemed to be, something I could point to and say I should have seen he wasn’t right.

I knew one thing I was going to do immediately. I headed over to the Office of Imperial Commerce. Vinicia Melissaeia greeted me as soon as I entered.

“You’re the one that fights in the Arena! The one with the tail! I nearly wet myself laughing at your interview after that fight. Kind of risky to use that kind of humor, it will turn off some of your fans, but I liked it. So when are you and the Gray Prince going to tie the knot?”

“Never, that is just a trick he pulls on girls. You look way too young to remember this, but he did this exact thing twenty years ago to another Khajiit girl. I guess he thinks Khajiit are easy marks. He told me the ring was a behest from his mother so I would take it, when really he had just bought it. He was trying to chase off my boyfriend, just like he was doing to that girl…trickery is the only way he could get a girl to accept a ring from him. Orc mixes, well you know about them.”

Vinicia preened at me thinking she was too young to remember. “Thank you for the complement, but I was around when that happened, I remember that. She was dating the Champion at the time, oh was he ever good looking! …What was that about Orc mixes?”

“Oh, it’s common knowledge they are incapable of any…activity.”

“You mean…”

“Useless. Except as a water spout.”

“BWAAAHAAA! I didn‘t know that!”

“I learned it at the Arcane, that’s where I went to school. There are childhood rhymes about it though, you’ve probably heard them.”

“…Say a few, I’ll see if I remember any.”

“If an Orc is not purebred, don’t waste your time, his thingy is dead.”

“BWAAAHAAA! Tell me another one!”

“An Orc mix can‘t have any fun, his thingy don‘t work with anyone.”

“BWAAAHAAA!”


*

YES! YES! YES! Treydog and Princess Juneipurr Cheezit do the happy doggie and kitty dance. The sun has come out from behind the clouds and shines down upon-

Maxical telling the worst gossip in the IC half-breed Orc jokes.

Agronak has no idea how much trouble he has found. Has he never heard that old saying?

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will poop on your pillow."

Welcome back to our favorite Khajiit and her creator.

Actually, they will hack up a hairball on your pillow. While your head is on it.

mALX, it is great to see Maxical back again! You are painting a very chilling picture of Agronak, though. And telling Mellie she is too young to remember something that happened twenty years ago? Now that's speechcraft!

After being away for the last few days I come back to find Maxical updated! Now all is right in my world!

This was so well said!

Agronak seems to be laboring under the impression that Maxical is too dim to harbor a grudge. I can’t wait for the rude awakening that awaits him. I imagine that it will involve glass jaws and otherwise useless water spouts!!

Her 'handling' of Vinicia was pure genius. Maxical dumb? Not bloody likely!

Welcome back!

Your wordcrafting has improved during your break. Many lovely passages!

I'm with Rider & Destri about Maxical's age compliment - clever kitty.

I'm getting the impression you are painting Fathis in a little more favorable light. Is that the case? Is Maxical simply taunting Agronak with him? Or, as I suspect, perhaps a touch of both?

Well done, mALX!

Don't EVER cross a Khajit
Especially if her hair is RED
For Revenge, if she does it
Will get you surely DEAD -

....


Go Go Go GO all DA WAY MaLX!!!

Arrrgh! I feel another ballad coming - must escape before the mods throw me out!!!

@ Treydog - Thank you so much Treydog! ...hmm...poop on pillow...can I write it? Should I add it? .... ROFL !!!! Just Kidding everyone! Lol. - Thank Princess Juneipurr Cheezit for me too!

***

@ Hauty - EW! I'll bet that is very accurate! Bleah!

Speechcraft...or BS artist? You be the judge! Lol.

You can find in the upcoming chapters how much I listened to what you said about cat behavior - I really like the additions, and it makes sense a Khajiit would have some of those too, THANK YOU so much Hauty !!!!

***

@ Destri - That paragraph you quoted was what the whole scene with Agronak was built around. I loved it too much to dump it, so had to build a scene to house it.

It may be both that he thinks she is too dumb ... (or that Agronak lacks the ability to care how things affect others, only how they affect himself)

Thank you so much Destri!!!

***

@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian!! Actually all this was written well before my break, (over 25 chapters written ahead). I just wasn't up to writing, (couldn't even make myself just post these) during all that stressful time. You really made my day by bringing Buffy back !!! Yeah !!!!

***

@ Foxy - ROFL!! I can imagine the ballad, I was afraid your last one would get you thrown off here right after you first came, lol. Thank you so much Foxy !!!!!!!

***

@ Everyone - I can't say enough how much it meant to me the support you all gave me during the past couple months. The PM's, emails, poems - you can't imagine how comforting they were! Thank you all so much.

*


Chapter 34: Tails and Tales of Madness


Vinicia Melissaeia pulled up a chair on her side of the counter. “Sit down with me, I want to hear more!”

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for his glass jaw, it’d be hard to figure out where to hit him and do any damage.” I took the seat and thanked her. My shoulder was throbbing and making it hard to keep standing.

“The Gray Prince has a glass jaw?”

“Oh yeah, one good uppercut and he’d be out on his back counting the birds and stars…well, if he could count that is.”

“BWAAHAA! I would have liked to deck him for how he talked to me that day he was in here. I was so mad that I‘ve never even filed his paperwork yet.”

I eyed her mannish frame. “Oh, even a tiny thing like you could do it when they have a glass jaw. In the old days girls used to walk around with a couple horseshoes in a sack in case men got fresh. Of course, they have banned the use of them now. Some people still use them, they just wear a cloak or robe to hide it and then dump the sack behind a bush before the guards get there. Any old-timer can tell you how it’s done, Simplicia the Slow used to have a reputation for clocking guys that got fresh with her…unless they were really good looking.”

“BWAAAHAA! Simplicia knocking out men?”

“Oh, my father was in short breeches when he first saw her. It was a schoolboy crush. He crawled into the tent on his belly to watch her comedy show. He still teases my mother that she will always be his second love. All the men were in love with her, even Arch Mage Traven, can you believe it? He gets a far-away look on his face if you mention her. And she‘s just a little thing like you.”

I pulled out a fifty Septim note and slid it across the counter toward her. “Did you say you haven’t filed that paperwork yet? Is there a way to get that undone like it never happened?“

Her eyes gleamed and she nodded, so I lifted my fingers from the note. She reached down the front of her dress and tucked it inside her bra.

I was no longer the owner on the deed of Agronak’s house when I stepped out of there, it had never happened except in the Courier. I don’t know how to explain it or even why, but I had a strong feeling of relief having done it.








******* Agronak


Agronak shook with the rage that filled him as Maxical walked away from him. He lunged after her as she stormed off, but had barely gone a step when Gils barreled into him from behind.

“You heard her Aggie. Games over for you. I saw you lay hands on her, if I hadn’t been so far away I’d have laid you out before you got to her. Have you gone insane? What’s gotten into you? What was the real reason you had her arrested?”

“She needed to be put in her place, Gils. She humiliated me in front of the press, ME! I’m the Grand Champion and the son of a Lord, and she chased after that pansy Fathis after I gave her a ring and a house right in front of Hassiri! How do you think that made me look? I told you about this when it happened. Now that [censored] is refusing to go to the house at all. She thinks I’m stupid, but I’ll get her in that house if I have to do it by force. Once she‘s spent the night there and the press are on the doorstep in the morning she’ll have no choices anymore. And you can quit looking for the tag Gils, I’ll kill you before I‘ll give you one.”

“Are you blind? You don’t have the tag to give, you’re out. She’s seen behind your mask now, even if you smile sweetly she’ll never believe it again. You’ve lost this game… and your mind from what I‘ve seen. You can‘t force her to that house.”

“Watch me.”

“Watch me stop you.”

“You better stay out of it Gils.”

“You’re out of control Aggie. The first time she doesn‘t show in the Bloodworks I‘m coming after you.”

“I’ll put her at the bottom of the Rumare before I’ll let you have her.”

“What the hell has got into you, have you gone crazy? You don’t even like her!”

“It’s gone too far, Gils. I’ve done too much. She’s a mix like me, you never thought of that, did you? You’re fighting for something that’ll never happen. You know if I can’t then she can’t either. She’s worthless to you, but not me. She’s too dumb to even know there is a secret to be kept. There goes all your control over me Gils, no more threatening exposure because who would believe you if I have a wife?”

“She has the blue show Aggie. It doesn’t just mark her as reaching maturity, it also shows she’s a virgin. It changes to purple when they breed. You’ll be parading around saying she’s your wife while everyone that looks at her will know she’s untouched. Your plan won’t work Aggie. You may as well face it, you need to give me that tag.”

“NO! It’s gone too far, I’ve done too much to stop now. If she would just shut up I could keep it together.”

“What have you done that is too much Aggie? What’s gone too far?”

“Forget it. That’s a secret you’ll never get to hold over me. I don’t need your help to save me anymore Gils, look what your lousy help has done for me so far. I‘m broke.”

“You’re only broke because you just paid for the funeral of the century. Do you give me your word of honor you will play your role then? Because I won’t stand by if I even think you will bring her harm. Do it right Aggie. Get back in her good graces again, if you can. I‘ll give you my word I‘ll step off if you do. But I will be watching.”

“All right, all right! I won’t do it again. Is that good enough for you?” Agronak held his hand up to promise but rolled his eyes.

“I mean it Aggie. By the way, Haki is back, have you talked to him yet?”

“No, I better go smooth things over with him.”

“I would if I were you.”





******* Maxical

I stepped out of the Office of Commerce and was surprised to see Gils standing in the midway.

“Gils! Are you here for lunch?”

“No, I followed to make sure you were safe. Remember some prisoners escaped this morning. You deeded the house back to Agronak then?”

“Yes.”

“Do not deliver it in person.”

I wondered if Gils had followed in time to witness Agronak lay his hands on me.

“I won‘t. They are delivering it to him by courier. I want to be sure he gets it while he is banned from our Bloodworks. I’m sorry, that probably sounds terrible. I know you and he are close. I never wanted it to begin with, but Agronak could be…stubborn when he wanted something. I found giving in easier than arguing.”

“I never thought to try being stubborn, but I’ll keep that in mind when the games are back on. Will you tire of arguing and give in?”

“It doesn’t work like that, you have to look like a stubborn Orc at the same time. He would make a face like this.” I lowered my eyelids halfway and put a long-suffering look on my face, sticking my ears straight out to the sides.

“I can do that, except the ears.”

“Well he didn’t have long ears either. Ah, but you don’t have tusks. They enhance the aura of stubbornness.”

“Why are you using past tenses?”

“Ah geez, flashback to a professor droning on and on about tenses.”

“That didn’t answer the question. Here, I’ll put on my stubborn face.”

“That doesn’t look stubborn, more like you just ate at the Feed Bag or something.”

“You’re avoiding answering.”

“You are his friend, please don’t take this wrong. I think his mother's passing… or something is affecting Agronak terribly…er…he is just not acting himself. And he‘s…pushing hard to get me into that house.”

“Why don’t you want to?”

“Geez, you want a list? I never wanted it to begin with. The Courier reported it as a gift from him, even visiting it would damage my reputation. He still comes and goes with a key there. I have always hated being beholden to anyone. I am not suited for loneliness and the Bloodworks is never lonely. I have an aversion to coercion. Should I go on?” I counted them off on my fingers.

“He is pushing hard for you to move into it now that Andronicus is gone?”

“Ordering me to is more accurate.”

“Has it occurred to you that he wants you in the house because your protection is gone, but he is the reason they aren‘t there? If he hadn‘t had them arrested…”

“I doubt he thought of that when he brought the charges, but the end result is the same. He couldn’t have thought it out well beforehand. Er…Gils, has he seemed different to you lately?” I stood to the side so Gils could open the door to the Bloodworks for me.

As soon as we entered Owyn came running up before Gils could answer.





***

Owyn nearly dragged us in and handed me a rolled parchment. “Read that!”

I stretched the scroll open. “It’s from Jack! I can gore crotches again! I’ll have to make that my signature move!”

“Well, are you two going to ask me why I’m grinning like a goblin?“ Owyn asked. He doesn’t smile often, so that actually was a pretty accurate description.

He continued before we could answer. “The cage match has been approved! Gils, your top priority is those billboards. Use my office, the door stays locked whether you are in there or not.”

“I need Maxical there when I do her billboards.” Gils said quickly.

Owyn glanced hard at him. “No funny business.” He waved a rolled parchment in front of us. “We have the exclusive rights to music for our team in the Arena for one year.”

I squealed; Gils and Owyn looked like baboons jumping around hooting and punching each other.

“Jack, and I are interviewing that group of yours the morning of the festival. We’ve contracted Wes Johnson to do the announcement, he and Gils will have to rehearse with you.”

“Wes Johnson, ‘The Voice of the Arena‘? But…” My plan to get Fathis alone wouldn’t work with Owyn sending every male in Cyrodiil to the Inn with me.

“You both will be blanketing the city with those billboards after the festival, so get them done Gils. Maxical, when I give you the signal your job will be to go out and get permission from all the store owners and guards.”

“I can do all the stores except the Best Defense.”

“Why, were you caught stealing there or something?”

“I don’t steal! They have my golden armor, the whole reason I am working here is to buy it back. They hate me because I am albino, Gils will have to handle that store.”

“That’s your golden armor?” Both Owyn and Gils said in unison.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Owyn asked, staring at me. Gils was just staring at me with his mouth gaped open.

“Fathis Aren gave it to me.”

“You can’t tell me you didn’t do something for that Golden Armor! The price…oh, that’s right! Varnado told me it was between a white Khajiit and Fathis Aren. I should have realized when Fathis challenged Agronak over you!” Owyn was staring at me hard now.

“Owyn, how many white Khajiit have you seen?”

“I guess I’ve been around you too long, I’m getting dumb syndrome.”

“I think Gils is infected too, look!”

Gils was staring unseeing, his eyes glazed over.

Owyn snapped his fingers in front of Gils’ face. “Gils! What is it?”

Gils glanced at me, then Owyn before looking down. “Nothing.”


*

AAAAAAAAND my prayers are ANSWERED....


OBLIVION meets WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT!!!

WOO and HOO and WOO and HOO
I'll hoot and holler till I turn blue!!

CAGE MATCHES and CLAW SLASHES with the MaLX touch
It's better than watching two elephants...er..er..er..STRUT!!

(I saw a mod, OK???)

Ah think ah better curb me enthoooseeyazzim...

Oh, it is SO on!



GACK! Crosses legs protectively while trying to clean spewed beverage from screen, keyboard, cat, and desk.

I'm all caught up. such excitement, such drama! I love it!! HURRAH!!

cage matches for all! there won't be a crotch in Tamriel that hasn't been gored when Maxical is finished

A fun romp that is typical Maxical!

Oh noes! I can see Aggie plotting now. . . . Who can he quietly pay off to remove the blue from the nose of 'his' property so people will think, well, you know. . . . Somehow, I don't even think some maroon paint will help him on that count!


I don't think Maxical is dumb. She's smarter than most of those around her.

You consistently portray her dumb/clever unique nature in a positively brilliant manner. That imperfectly endearing kitty that needs to remove her shoes to count higher than ten, can astound us with moments of stunning cleverness.


Tiny nits-
too
mother's

Ya got me wanting more! I can't wait to see how things play out with Aggie, Gils, and Maxical!

Agronak has to remove his pants to count to 21! Well, maybe 20 1/2 if I'm following the story correctly

My turn for a nit. "effect" is a noun, you probably want "affect" instead.

*wolf spins in giddy circles of happiness*

The Mistress of Plot-weaving is back!! Yipppee.

Our Maxical is in full swing here, as usual. The role of Fathis in the Beth version seems to be played by Agronak. Very interesting! I feel that the poor boy with have more problems then a broken jaw if he continues to underestimates the clever kitty. Lol.

I love the way you are juggling both of the males in the Chorrol version. Anything is possible from this point forward. And knowing how good you are at writing a coke-spewing tale, that is scary!!

So many good quotes -

In the old days girls used to walk around with a couple horseshoes in a sack in case men got fresh.

All the men were in love with her, even Arch Mage Traven, can you believe it? He gets a far-away look on his face if you mention her.

Ah, but you don’t have tusks. They enhance the aura of stubbornness

That doesn’t look stubborn, more like you just ate at the Feed Bag or something

And music in the cage match!! Yippeee. That MUST mean METALLICA.

Knowing mALX as I do.

I remember 20 years ago playing the 45 rpm Garage days Re-Revisited at 33 rpm on my turntable just to make it even more heavy. The Small Hours sounded brilliant. A perfect song for Maxical's entrance. Ha, Ha!!

And I'm addicted again. This is great, funny and with good interactions. I suspect things will go badly for Agronak now there's gossip to be done and Maxical isn't going to show much mercy.

There were some great lines there but it appears others have got there first in the quoting department...

Ok, so I'm nowhere close to being up-to-date with the new version...but I love how you've changed. Which isn't to say that I don't like the "original" version of things. I do. I like 'em both! Can't wait to catch up.

What could be better than Maxical's Adventure? Two!!

*


@ Foxy - LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE !!!! Thank you so much Foxy !!!

***
@ Treydog - It's on, but there is some of my fave parts of this story coming between now and that match, I hope you like it! Thank you so much Treydog !!!

***
@ Hazmick - Thank you so much Hazmick! Now that is the spirit!!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !! That means a lot to hear!!! (and thank you so much for corrections, fixed !!)

***
@ Hauty - Thank you so much Hauty !!

***
@ MyCat - SPEW !!!! ROFL !!! I choked reading your comment, now that is funny !!!!!! Awesome comment !!! (and thank you so much for the nit, I fixed it !! )

***
@ Winter Wolf - You picked out some of my fave lines in the chapter Wolf !!!! Thank you so very much, you ROCK !!!!!

***
@ Olen - Thank you very much Olen !! I'll feed that addiction if possible too, lol.

***
@ RACHEL !!!!!!!! YEAH !!!!!!! AWESOME !!!! Thank you so much Rachel !!!!!


*

*


Chapter 35: Gaiden Shinji’s Nightmare


“Okay, Gils, you will go to the Best Defense then. Where’s your book of moves?“ Owyn grabbed the book and started leafing through it.

He was exclaiming excitedly over the moves when I pointed out that he missed a few.

“Gills put three moves in the back of the book he wanted to practice with me.” I looked over at Gils and was surprised to see him shaking his head no at Owyn. “What?” I watched Owyn’s face as he flipped to the back of the journal. His eyes started from his head when he saw them.

“Man, you are the dumbest girl I have ever seen! Are you telling me you can’t figure out these moves?”

Gils was doubled over laughing.

“What?” I felt my cheeks turning bright red.

“Gils, she’ll never figure it out, you better draw her a picture.“

“She already drew one of them herself, but she gave it to Andronicus.” Gils gave his wicked laugh and Owyn started choking.

“Hmph!“ I tore the three pages out of the journal and stomped over to the bathing room. I’d bring them to Andronicus, she’d tell me what they meant. I folded them up and put them in my pocket.






***

I looked over the list of duties Andronicus had written out for me, skipping over anything that would aggravate my shoulder. Oh dear gods! I had to light the pit at the end of the day? Strip the Arena equipment off the dead bodies that had Designated Claims coming to pick them up? EW! I hurried out to try and get Owyn to give these tasks to Gils.

“Owyn, it says here I have to strip dead bodies and light the pit every night! I can’t do these two, can’t you give these to Gils? I don’t even know where to go or how to light it.”

“You’ve already got him doing enough of her chores. You were supposed to do all these. See that door right there? Go in there and follow it down to the room with all the pipes. There is a sign on the wall with instructions. Go down now and get familiar with everything while daylight is still coming through the grate. It’s pitch black when you have to go in there at night, and you can’t carry a torch, you’ll blow the place sky high.”

“You’re not going to warn her about it being haunted?” Gils was scowling at Owyn. “Maybe you should get a Pit to do it.”

“Haunted? Owyn, I can‘t! Please get a Pit to do it!”

“Get your [censored] down there. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of ghosts!” Owyn glared at me.

“Ghosts? There’s more than one?”

“Just get your [censored] down there, the only ones you gotta worry about are the ones you put in there, BWAAAHAA!”

Casting night vision, I crept down the stone corridor. It reeked, the walls were damp and slimy. A sound was echoing through the tunnel carried on a breeze that didn’t exist. As I reached the end the corridor widened, but dead ended into a heavy metal door. There were two large wheels.

The sound I heard earlier was louder here, more easily distinguished. It was many voices crying or shouting…I could faintly hear the clatter of weapons. The ghosts battling each other through eternity? Should I go back and get Gils to come with me?

I cast my night eye again. The room with the pipes must be past that door, but it had no handle on it. I tried the wheel nearest me first and heard a loud hissing noise. The door still didn’t open. I turned the wheel further and the hissing got louder, but still the door stayed put.

The other wheel turned harder, but immediately the door gapped open slightly. I pushed against it just enough to make a gap large enough for me to enter and peeped my head in.

The voices and clattering noises were even louder here, this had to be the room that was haunted. It was lined with pipes, and I could see the sign on the wall on the other side. I hesitated, and just then a high pitched scream filled the room, echoing off the steep rounded walls. Then the room went pitch black. I was frozen in place, screaming my head off till I realized my night vision spell had just run out. I cast it again, and even as the blue light illuminated the room again I saw a movement above me.

The screaming came again and suddenly a naked man flew at me from above! Shrieking, I cast my ‘Enemies Explode’ and it blew him back up where he had come from while I shot back into the corridor and yanked on the wheel to slam the door shut. My breath was coming in ragged gasps and I could feel the trickle of pee running down my legs.

The ground felt like it was shaking and I heard a terrible roaring noise and then a boom. Something powerful hit the door with a loud bang. I ran screaming up the corridor leaving a trail of puddles the whole way up and burst back out into the Bloodworks. Owyn and Gils turned and stared at me. I was shaking, wide-eyed. My fur was fully bushed out and the puddle was still spreading below me.

Owyn glanced over at Gils and said, “Oh [censored]!

They ran up the chute, I followed.

It was mayhem. People in the stands were running and screaming. The naked man I hit with the ‘Enemies Explode’ had been blown up to the high balconies and was spiked on one of the spires up there. A roaring fire was billowing out of the pit and going straight up, higher than the Arena itself. The grating from the pit had been blown onto one of the balconies and landed on the railing, crumbling it. The two combatants had stopped fighting and were just staring at the fountain of fire.

Jack was standing on his observation deck and he pointed at Owyn, then jerked his hand up.

“Oh [censored]!” Owyn’s face was purple with rage when he looked at me, I’ve never seen him so mad. He opened his mouth but nothing would come out.

“You better run Maxical.” Gils shoved me toward the chute.

“Should I leave the Arena?”

“NO! Get in the bathing room and lock the door.” Gils hovered between me and Owyn as Owyn had taken on the appearance of a raging minotaur about to stampede. “Git, now!” Gils shouted.

I ran.









******* Fathis



“Fathis! Hannibal! Come look, smoke and flames billowing way up in the sky. What is that, the Palace on fire?” Alix pointed.

Fathis’s face went pale. “That’s the Arena.”

“Come on!” Alix charged leading the way.

Hannibal and Fathis couldn’t keep up with Alix. When they got to the Arena it was mayhem, people were pouring down the ramps screaming.

“Let’s cut over to Jack’s, he’ll know what is going on.” Hannibal led Fathis up the administrative entrance. “Not that I can’t figure out who did this. It has all the earmarks of one of Maxical‘s ‘accidents‘.”

“I was sure of that too, but is she alright? Dear gods!” Fathis pointed to a naked man impaled on a spire at the top of the Arena. “Oh this is most definitely Maxical’s doing.”

Jack was standing out on the observation deck looking like a man in shock.

“Jack, she is alright isn’t she?” Hannibal hailed.

“She looked fine afterwards…unless Owyn…”

“What happened?”

“Her first day taking over Andronicus’s duties. It’s just early afternoon. She inadvertently purchased stud services from a guard for Andronicus, that was only 35 Septims, I laughed. But then…she broke over 900 Septims worth of repair hammers to fix just two raiment. They were destroyed when she was finished. She flooded the Bloodworks and Arena, cost Owyn three penalties and a forfeit by appearing naked with a wild boar in the middle of a match. All new mats…she just blew up the pit with an Arena full of people. Pieces of bodies were blown into the balconies…that grating destroyed the ancient pillar railings on the balcony. In less than one day she has destroyed Gaiden Shinji‘s Arena that took him a lifetime to build and has stood since the first Era.”

“You better go in and sit down Jack. I can help you with that the bodies and grating, a simple telekinesis spell.” Hannibal helped him to his desk. “This is Maxical’s ’Enemies Explode’ spell, the same one she blew up the campus with. I told you about that, didn‘t I? Not many can cast it, you know. She has extraordinary destructive abilities. Well, I guess I don‘t need to tell you that.”

Alix was standing in the doorway listening, not sure of a welcome from Jack at this time.

“The fire just went out.” Fathis called from the door to the observation deck.

“Owyn probably shut the valve off. There is a natural gas pocket under the Rumare, the Arena taps into it for the pit fires. It had to be turned on full for that volume of flame, it was over the top of the Arena.” Jack’s voice was a monotone. He began making a list of damages. “I still have to see if anyone was injured in the melee that followed the explosion.”

Alix stepped in the door. “No one was hurt, a couple fainters and messed pants in the balconies where pieces of bodies landed.”

“I’ve got that body off the spire, where should I put it?” Hannibal called from the observation deck.

“Drop it in the pit in the center of the Arena, thank you Hannibal.” Jack’s voice was dazed and his eyes were glassy from shock. “The attendant had just thrown a body in right before the explosion happened. It blew back out at him…he had to be revived by healers…”

“If you can make sure everyone is out of the Arena floor I will get the grate down for you.” Hannibal bustled in.

“You’re awfully chipper Hannibal.” Jack sounded numb.

“This is old hat to me.” Hannibal patted Jack’s shoulder. “Cheer up Jack, I used to feel exactly as you do now. But you’ll get used to it, we three did.”

“I’ll cover all costs, you know I’m good for it Jack.” Fathis said, picking up the two destroyed raiment and elbowing Alix with a grin.

Jack raised his head. “Seriously Fathis?”

“Of course! And these raiment are tattered anyway, order replacement raiment for the entire Blue team. Can you make the new ones more of a brilliant royal blue?”

Jack let his breath out, his tension seeming to abate with the action.

“I wish S’Jirra could see these two she repaired, did you say it took her over fifty hammers to do just these two?” Alix and Fathis both choked when Jack nodded.

“Take them.” Jack was reviving.

“I’ll go down and get that grate back where it belongs Jack.” Hannibal slapped him on the back. “Relax, Fathis always fixes things better than they were before.”

“That’s true, Jack. Hannibal has a beautiful alchemy garden where her last explosion happened.” Fathis called as he walked onto the deck. “Come out here and watch Hannibal put that grate back.” Fathis leaned over the table and signed his cheque with a flourish.

Fathis handed his cheque to Jack. “I left it blank, just send me a missive with the amount you use. And add a donation to the Arena in the amount I wrote in the memo section to whatever the cost of repairs comes to. You can use that however you like.”

Jack’s eyes went to the bottom of the check. For a second he felt a light-headed rush at the amount Fathis had donated above the cost of repairs. He reached his hand out and clasped Fathis‘s. “Thank you Fathis. You don’t know how much of a relief this is.”

“You may as well get used to it, I’m only surprised it took this long for the first instance. Why don‘t you meet us at the Merchants later for dinner?” Fathis smiled, his eyes sparkling. Things finally felt back to normal again.

“I’d like that. I‘ve never seen you so…vivid Fathis.” Jack smiled.



*

Classic Maxie!

Well, that explains the 'ghost!'

QFT!

Hallelujah! Amen! Praise the Nine!

Explosively headspinning!

It is so nice to see the creative things Maxical learned at the Arcane University have not been forgotten. In fact, the Arch Mage seems quite at home in the Arena after Maxical's little touches of remodeling.

Horse on the spire of the University = dead naked man spiked on the rail of the Arena. Ah, right at home indeed. And just like the University days, good ol Fathis is there to pick up the tab.

Don't feel bad about peeing yourself, Maxical. Sometimes it happens.

I can't wait to see the next edition of the BHC.

FABULOUS, mALX!

C.L.A.S.S.I.C....


Meaning Cute Loveable Asinine Silly Sweet Inept CAT!!!!

As usual, well-written.

I AM IN SHOCK.

No, not because the Arena has been blown to Oblivion by our lovely kitty, but shock because Maxical managed to hit a flying (sorry, falling) object with her spell. And it only took one shot, too.

If Owyn had half a brain he would start to praise her for the destuction then recuperate the losses through the bookies. Lol.

The Veterinarian Vixen has beaten me to the great quotes in this chapter. Let's just say I had a huge smile while I was reading it. Awesome mALX!!

And from there it only got better. I can’t see because I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. BTW- get S’Jirra to give Maxical some pumpkin- I hear it can help with certain… plumbing problems.

I HAVE to stop reading these at work! But I can't.

Now something serious for you...MaLX...I am sorry if this causes some pain from both you and your regular readers, but I feel it must be said...


I think you should keep this Storyline, and ABANDON the one at the Beth forums.


*waits for HOWLS from enraged readers and anguised MaLX to subsided*

OK, now hear me out.

When you were writing at the Beth Forums you were GOOD - oh, HOW you were GOOD!!! But now you have come here, and come up with a storyline that everyone can now see has diverged too much from the Beth Storyline to be merged back again...

...let not GOOD become the enemy of BRILLIANT. For there's no two ways about it. This Storyline is fecking BRILLIANT.

And I have noticed that your posts on the Beth side seem to lack the sparkle that shines here.

It's like riding a Corvette all your life, loving the sheer quality of the car, and THEN being put into a limited edition Ferrari...


...you thought your driving experience was perfect before, but now you find something perfecter than perfect.


End the Beth. And from now on, make it Chorrol all the way!!!!

genius! Poor Maxical, you can't blame her when she reacts to a naked body falling from he sky into a haunted chamber. I blame Owyn.

While things went from bad to worse the story went from good to awesome. The ghosts frightening her and the 'moves' were funny. Then she goes down the tunnel and, with only a few mistakes, everything which could go wrong does. With hilarious consequences. Turn the wrong lever - easily done. Get spooked by noises and sudden darkness - fair enough. Naked man falls from ceiling - who wouldn't blast him? Brilliant. I laughed several times.

Hanibal at the end was the icing on the cake.

@ Hauty - That has actually happened to me playing on the 360 in a dangerous spot and suddenly everything is black - and then my character takes a beating from the enemy before I realize my night vision had worn off, lol.

You picked out some of my fave spots too - Hannibal's calmnes when it is happening to someone else, etc. Thank you so much Hauty !!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian! Lol - er...BHC?

***
@ Foxy - Thank you very much Foxy !!!! ...wait, did you just call her asinine? ARGH !!! Lol. - I have an end to the one on the BGSF partially written, and not very many chapters off...but I will think about it. I know not many read her there anymore, but the FanFiction site on the internet is still having a great response on that story. I think it is the forum itself that is at issue, no one goes there anymore! But, that said - I like this one better too in a lot of ways. Thank you again Foxy !!!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thanks Zalphon !!!!!

***
@ Winter Wolf - Thank you so much Wolf !!!!!! - oh, I looked this up to be sure I was accurate on it. The spell has two hits, the first has a span of ten feet, the second spans twenty feet. That ups her chances of hitting a target. - not that she can't still miss with it, which you will see when she makes it to Crowhaven, lol.

***
@ Treydog - ROFL !!!! I do give it to one of our female cats that has had issues since her spay. Oh Treydog, you picked it out. That was my favorite line in the whole chapter, lol. Thank you so much Treydog !!!

***
@ Hazmick - ROFL !!! You have an instant friend now !!! Thank you so much Hazmick !!!

***
@ Olen - Thank you so much Olen !!! You picked out everything I liked in that chapter !!


*

*


Chapter 36: Broke, Busted, Disgusted



******* Owyn


Hassiri smiled and shook hands with Owyn as they met in Jack Thompson’s doorway. He was carrying a stack of passes to the manager‘s box.

“Jack told me about the accident.� He grinned.

“Accident? Oh…you mean…the…er…oh, that accident!� Owyn covered quickly, not knowing what Jack had told Hassiri. He quickly shuffled some more manager’s box passes into Hassiri’s hand.

Owyn took a deep breath before entering the office, dreading the scene ahead. Jack was sitting at his desk going over requisition lists and looking up prices.

“Come in Owyn. Have a seat.�

“I’m sorry Jack. I should have had Gils do it. He told her about the haunting and…�

“Yes. You or Gils will do it from now on. I just wanted to make sure she was fine, no one was hurt.�

Owyn’s mouth gaped open. “Well, I didn’t… check her…yet. She is staying away from me till I get over being mad.“

“Are you over being mad yet?�

“Yeah, sure.�

“Well make sure she wasn’t hurt. She is not to do the pit again.�

“No! No. I’ll have Gils do it. Er…the damages? Should I charge her account…�

“No. Just leave them to me. Is there anything else Owyn?� Jack gave Owyn his pleasant smile.

“No, no. Thank you Jack.� Owyn backed out of the office feeling like he had stepped into another realm. What just happened in there? Jack wasn’t mad…Owyn needed a drink…and fast. But first he better check on Maxical.






***

“Gils, from now on you do the pit. Jack doesn’t want her to touch it again.�

“I figured that. How bad was it up there with Jack?�

“He was…smiling.� Owyn’s voice still reflected disbelief.

“Has he cracked up from the shock?�

“Maybe…he asked if she was injured.�

“I told her not to open the door till I give her the signal, you over being mad then?� Gils gave Owyn a hard look.

Owyn nodded. “He was…smiling…he’s not even charging her for the damages…what in the hell just happened? Surely she's not...�

“No way Owyn! Listen, when you check her over, can you look at her shoulder? Agronak grabbed it earlier, I think he really hurt her.�









******* Maxical

My shoulder throbbed. Instead of the pain easing it had gotten worse. The bruise was massive, places where Agronak dug his fingers in were visibly marked.

I couldn’t ask Owyn to heal it till he got over wanting to kill me, so I duplicated healing potions to tide me over. I opened one and was just about to drink it when Owyn and Gils came in.

“You drinking Skooma?� Owyn demanded.

“No, I don’t take drugs! This is a healing potion.�

“I know that you idiot! Why didn’t you come to me if you have an injury?�

My mouth gaped open. “Er…I thought you were going to kill me. It’s nothing really, a sore shoulder. I was hurrying so I could catch the Merchants before they quit selling dinner. I worked up an appetite today with all these extra chores…�

Owyn‘s eyes bulged and his face took on a purplish hue. He swallowed several times before resuming in a slightly strained voice. “Gils will go for you while I work on your shoulder. Did this happen in the pit?�

“Er…no.�

Gils’ eyes were glued to the bruise, he had an odd look on his face. He caught Owyn’s eye and gave him a signal I didn‘t recognize.

“Well hurry up and tell Gils what you want, meet me at the fount.� Owyn left the bathing room.

I stared after him. So they had private signals between them? Aha! I needed to keep my eyes open and learn them. That one was telling Owyn to leave.

“Maxical, Aggie is hanging outside the door waiting to catch you when you go out. Haki has banned him from the Yellow Bloodworks, and if that deed was delivered he will be in a rage. It may be best not to go out without me or Owyn for a while�

My sword arm was injured, I couldn’t defend myself. “I’ll stay in.� I sank down on my bed.

“You always eat from the Merchants, don’t you. What do you want?“

“A Famous potato bread, three strawberries and a sweet roll. If you tell Velus it‘s for me he‘ll know what I want.�

Gils gave me a funny look. “No meat?�

“No, I don’t eat meat. Why?�

“Hello, you are a cat. This book I’ve been reading says you should eat meat.�

“What book?�

“It’s called ‘The Khajiit Mystique‘.�

“Can I read it?�

“No, you better not. It’s got dirty drawings.�

“Why does it say to eat meat?�

“Your metabolism is enhanced by meat.�

“I guess I could have a piece of grilled crabmeat then.�

As soon as the door closed behind Gils I pulled myself up and hurried over to the looking glass. I had caught Gils fiddling with it a few times…it was too heavy to lift down, so I pushed it to one side. Sure enough there was a hollowed out alcove behind it. Inside was a stack of dirty books, the drawings on them were obscene. On the front of each was written in big letters “Property of Gils.�

My hand fumbled through till I felt a hard covered book and pulled it out. ‘The Khajiit Mystique‘. I walked back to my mat leafing through it, leaving the looking glass askew and Gils’ dirty books dripping out the gap.

My eyes bugged out at the drawings, I turned the book different directions to be sure I was seeing things right. Gils had not exaggerated about them, they were filthy…and every one of them Khajiit! I held the book out and craned my neck down to see if what I had looked like the drawings. The sound of the door opening caught my attention and I looked up quickly.

“AHA! I knew you would do that! Give it to me!� Gils charged up, his hand reached out.

I dropped down on my mat and tucked the book under me, jarring my shoulder and yelped.

“Ow! That book is all about naked Khajiit women…now stand back or I’ll do my ‘Biting Cobra’ move with my tail.�

“Let me see it then.� He waited.

I made my tail dance like a snake in front of him then dart in toward his face like a biting cobra going for the eyes. He grabbed it and held it tight.

“Ow, let go of my tail!� It didn’t hurt, in fact I was surprised it actually felt… pleasant. No one had ever touched my tail before, and suddenly I wondered if it was something I shouldn’t be allowing. I flushed and he released it immediately.

“That doesn’t hurt, you’re faking. I already read that chapter. Now give me my book.�

“Why can’t I read it?�

“Because then you’ll know what I’m doing when I make moves on you.�

“My tail feels funny where you touched it.“ I reached out and tried squeezing my tail where he had. “How come it doesn’t feel the same when I do it? Was that one of the moves?�

“Yes, but I didn’t mean to do that. I apologize. Maxical, I can‘t wrestle you for the book with the truce on and you injured.�

I handed him the book and he tucked it into his pack. He’d have to sleep sometime. I wanted to know what else he was finding out about me that I didn’t know.






******* Agronak


Agronak tried his key several times, then pounded on the door to the Yellow Bloodworks. It was opened by Haki, who blocked the doorway.

“There’s your [censored], you’re banned from here.� Haki pointed to a crate and slammed the door.

Agronak lifted the lid on the crate and found the contents of his locker filled it. He grabbed it and headed over to the Blue Bloodworks. He set the crate down and plopped onto it facing the door. It wasn’t long before Gils stepped out.

“Oh, it‘s you. What are you doing over here?� Gils looked wary.

“Haki has evicted me and all my things from his Bloodworks and banned me.�

“What did you expect? You were crazy to arrest them Aggie. What got into you?�

“I hoped Owyn might let me move in here.“

“Are you nuts? I’ve never seen Owyn so mad! He’s got a legal ban Aggie, you’ll be arrested if you come around here. Better just go to your mother’s house till Haki cools off and try him again.�

“I guess. Are you going to the Feed Bag for dinner? I’ll join you.�

“No, we’re on threes and a three day rotations. You know that means mandatory curfews. I’m just picking up something and bringing it back here. None of us can get out anymore.�

“I thought that lying [censored] Maxical said she was going to the music festival?�

“We all thought we were, but Owyn laid down the law since then. Are you going?�

“I don‘t know. You remember what I said Gils. You leave her alone or I‘ll kill you.�

“At least I’m her friend, you can’t even stand her. You’re so transparent lately, even someone as dumb as you think she is can see through it. Get out of this before it blows up in your face, because if you don’t you are going to destroy what took you a lifetime to build. What has gotten into you? I haven’t seen you like this since my father died. Is it your mother’s death that has you losing your mind? I think you should see a healer.�

“Don’t give me that friends bull, I know too many of your tricks to not see what you’re up to.�

“I begged you to switch turns with me Aggie. I offered you my next three and you refused.�

“It was my turn Gils. That’s my privilege.�

“Well I’m sick of the game, find someone else to play it with when this one ends. I’m waiting for Maxical and then you and I go our separate ways.�

“There won’t be a tag this time Gils, I’m going to marry her so I’ll never have to worry about not looking normal again. I’ll look just as capable as you are.�

“She’s not going to marry you after what you did today! And even if you tricked her into it, how are you planning to explain the blue show that doesn’t go away? You made me play by the rules when you called your turn, you can‘t change them now. Finish the game out Aggie.�

“I‘m calling an end to the game now. You will never get a tag.�

“You can’t call the game off!“

“I am. Game is over.�

“You’re calling the game off?� Gils glared into Agronak’s eyes.

“Game is off.�

“You called it off three times, that’s the rules. The game is officially over Aggie. That means the gloves are off. The game was the only thing holding me back, I can act now.�

“You can’t do that!�

“Yes I can, you called the game off. Gentleman’s rules only applied in game. I am free to make my move now.�

“You tricked me into dropping the game! You tricked me! You manipulating mother [censored] [censored] ! I‘ll kill you!�

“You can’t Aggie, and you know it. Maybe you should go get that proof of your heritage yourself, now would be a perfect time.�

“That [censored] gave her word she would do it for me.�

“That was before you had her arrested and laid hands on her.�

“You know I can’t, I have fights scheduled.�

“By who? Andronicus can’t set them up, she is in jail.�

“I know the dates, I’ll just show up. I don’t need that [censored].�

“What Bloodworks chute will you enter from? You better get with Jack and find out how to handle that, you may have to climb down from a balcony.�

“This is all your fault Gils! All of it! You put the pressure on me till I had to…I did everything…you don’t know the half! You pushed me into it!�

“I put no pressure on you, I was waiting my turn like I always do…what have you done Aggie?�

“LIAR! The candles were all out Gils! You can’t tell me it wasn’t you! Andronicus passed out and that lying [censored] Maxical didn‘t admit to me that anyone tried her. I guess she thought I was as dumb as her.�

“You should check one of your Pit spies for scratches then, there was blood all over a mat by the fount the next day. What did you do Aggie? What don’t I know the half of?�

“Forget it. I’m sick of you knowing everything about me. Jack has to let me into the Arena, I’m the [censored] Grand Champion! I need to know if that [censored] [censored] Maxical is going to Crowhaven for me. When I get proof I am the son of a Lord all of you will be kissing my [censored] [censored].�


*

Our favorite Khajiit needs to get out of the Arena. Or finish what she started there with the gas-works and the Enemies Explode... hmm.

The Khajiit Mystique? Almost all books about cats are wrong. Ditto for most books about females. So a book about female Khajiit? Despite there being some truths, Gils may discover it is not wise to believe everything he reads (or sees in pictures).

I have to echo treydoggie on the comparison of oneself (Maxical) with the drawings in the book. He he! Were there any drawings of male Khajiit in there?

Eeeh more Maxical!

I really love this fic. Maxical is an amazing character, and the trouble she gets herself into is nothing short of hilarious. I do worry about what exactly will happen when Agronak finds out she's been spreading his secrets all over Cyrodiil, but it's such delicious revenge. Think she's stupid, hm, Agronak? XD

And the Khajiit Mystique really made me crack up...

[censored]! Agronak and Owyn both need to calm down, Gils needs to find some proper reading materials and Maxical needs to...blow something up! I love this story, especially when I can think of words to fill in Aggie's [censored] spaces.

Maxical discovers Khajit porn!!!



Oh boy...


From now on, she's going to be MaXXXixxxcal!!!!

From the previous story: By BHC, I meant Black Horse Courier. Sorry for the confusion.

Maxical continues to successfully have each of Andronicus' chores reassigned - clever kitty.

Oh my, and now Maxical has her very own owner's / operator's manual - with pictures that show her [censored]!

Speaking of [censored]. . . is [censored], the Grand [censored] really a [censored] [censored] and does he really think our feline heroine is a [censored] [censored] [censored]?? LOL!

And Maxical has her own Cobra's Dance. . . sort of.

Why am I not surprised that she would order up a portion of that world famous potato bread made by the one and only you know who?

This was great fun, mALX!

Incredible!!

How lovely that Maxical went straight to the hidey-hole and helped herself!! Her cat-like curiosity and innocence just came through in spades during this chapter. Ha, ha!!

And what did she do then? She tucked the book underneath herself when caught red-pawed. She didn't even realize that this is almost encouraging him to 'come and get it' !!!!!!
It is these parts of your writing that hit the spot so beautifully. Maxical's true spirit always shines through.


Magic!!!


Pure Magic!!


And what rumor are we trying to start here, Haute?

Khajit porn?! Gil's bedtime reading. Now there's an image... Next she'll be heading to the first edition to get her own books.

I agree with Trey on the comparasons, hilarious and so Maxical.

It also appears you've found a method of stopping Foxy, I'm not sure there was any mroe meaning to be twisted form those words.

As Acadian said, Great fun

@ Treydog - Your wish is my command...in a few chapters. I got the idea to do the Khajiit Mystique from Acadian, although he doesn't know it, lol. Thank you so much Treydog!

***
@ Hauty - ...No barbs zone? Thank you so much Hauty !!

***
@ Kazaera - Thank you so much Kazaera!!! It seems she came by it honestly...but that is for a future chapter, lol.

***
@ Hazmick - Thank you so much Hazmick! I actually considered putting numbers in the [censored] places and putting a key at the bottom of the page [censored - 1] = British boat (etc.) - but thought it would be better to let everyone fill in their own ideas, lol. Thank you again!

***
@ Foxy - ROFL !!!! XXX rated Maxical? No way, Hauty beat me to it with her rendition of Deep Throat in her story. It seems Julian...JUST KIDDING!!!! Thank you so very much Foxy !!!

***
@ Acadian - I love that you caught that - and then she said she worked up an appetite from doing all the extra chores, I thought everyone would have choked over that one, I did, lol. Thank you very much Acadian !!!

***
@ Winter Wolf - Oh I loved the things you picked up on! Thanks very much to Hauty, I have tried to bring out more cat-like actions and personality in her.

That line: "I already read that chapter" - I am so glad you caught that, a bunch of that part was written around that line! Thank you so very much Wolf!!!!

***
@ Olen - Thank you so much Olen! I may actually have left Foxy with no more twists to add, he taught me very well, lol !!! My favorite part of Gils having a secret stash of dirty books is that they were DRAWINGS of dirty pictures, and he put "Property of Gils" in huge letters across the front covers of each - I don't know why, but picturing a man looking at drawings - I was in hysterics thinking about it.

*



Chapter 37: A Secret By Any Other Name



******* Gils

It had been quite a while since he left to get Maxical’s dinner, Gils opened the door to the bathing area quietly in case Maxical had gone to sleep. She was sitting up on her mat and appeared to be choking her tail at the end where he had grabbed it earlier. As if sensing his presence she turned her head toward him and dropped her tail abruptly.

“The Merchants had already stopped serving dinner. Sorry it took so long, are you starving?�

“A little. You didn‘t get this at the Feed Bag did you?�

“No, my ears are still ringing from the last time I made that mistake. Your mouth ran on about it for…OW! Now that is taking advantage, I can’t throw it back with you injured! Why is that bandage so…big?“

“Owyn did a breast reduction on me while he was there.� Maxical pointed to the crisscrossed bandage.

“You should have had him do a butt reduction instead, at least there would be something to reduce…OW! Throw that one more time and the truce is off.�

“You threaten that all the time, you have to change your threats around if you want me to fear them. I’ll quit if you let me see your book again.�

“Forget it. I’ll be back, I need to take care of something.�

“Geez, Owyn said you did that before you left.�

“What would he tell you that for? Is he drunk?�

“A little.�

“Anyway, it’s not that.�

“Oh. Sorry.�






***

Owyn sidled up to the corner Gils was standing in and stared bug-eyed at the side of his face. “What the hell are you doing? Didn’t you just do that right before you left?�

Gils stopped what he was doing. “Yeah, thanks for telling Maxical about it. Do you mind? You ain’t helping me here.�

“What are you, taking vitamins or something?� Owyn asked without budging.

“I’m trying to stick by the truce. Go on now, you ain‘t helping things here.�

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.� Without moving away, Owyn tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling and scratching the side of his temple. “I remember being on a truce once…years ago…I was younger then…�

Gils gaped at Owyn. “Just forget it, you’ve killed the mood now. What was wrong with her shoulder?�

“It was Agronak all right.�

“Tell me something I don’t know, will ya? She’s usually pathologic about blabbing everything she knows, but she’s clammed up about this.�

“She’s dumb, but even she knows you always side with…hic…Agronak.�

“Yeah, well you and Andronicus drilled that into her head.�

“Someone needed to warn her. She’s idiot enough to fall for your bull [cens…hic…ored]. …I learned a secret about her the other day…“

“A secret? What?�

“I’m not telling you…hic.�

“Well why’d you…say, your brandy is empty, I’ll get mine for you…“

“Forget it! …Er, not the brandy though, I‘ll take that.� Owyn grinned like a possum before draining his bottle and handing it to Gils. “You ain’t doin’ her like you did S’Jirra…�

“S’Jirra! That was twenty years ago! Why’r you bringing her up?� Gils handed a full bottle of brandy to Owyn. “You have to share this with me, you know. So, tell me about this secret…�

Owyn tipped the bottle up while Gils got two glasses. “Forget it…hic…I’m not telling. Did you challenge Agronak for hurting Maxical?�

“…No.�

“Then you ain’t changed a bit. Ysabel…we been split thirty years. I’d still kill anyone that hurt her. Women need a man that’ll protect them, not just a smile in the sack.�

“Someone smiling in your sack recently Owyn? Now about this secret…�

“Hey! Hic…huh? What were we talking about?�

“You were in the middle of telling me a secret about Maxical…�

“Fat chance Gils. Hic. I noticed you didn‘t teach Maxical those moves you taught Agronak. He promisss…hic…ed to teach her them if she went to Anvil for him. I don‘t want him near her.�

“I’ll teach her all of them. I’m going too if she goes, and she can’t leave the Bloodworks without you or me with her…Aggie may kidnap her. So…you were telling me about Maxical…�

“He’s a nutcase, and getting worse all the time.�

“He just lost his mother, Owyn. Last time he got this bad was when my father died.�

“He killed his mother, he’s insane Gils.�

“Owyn, you can’t possibly believe that.�

“Can’t I? She was green! I knew it was poison before finding out about the empty poison bottle in her bed. Agronak was there with her that night. You need to open your eyes Gils.�

“Suicide?�

“It wasn’t suicide Gils, she couldn’t have finished that bottle. Maybe he’s been doing it all along, there’s gotta be some reason why healers could never cure her.�

Gils froze as images of green pallor tainting his father’s face during his last months flashed through his mind. “I can’t have this conversation Owyn.�

“Gils, I know it’s hard to face, but you have to. He’s dangerous. You should have seen Maxical’s shoulder. Why the hell didn‘t you stop him?�

“I couldn’t get there in time. He was following her to finish the job when I jumped him.�

“You shouldn’t have let him near her, he needs to be locked away.�

“I had no choice, it was his turn. I tried to talk him out of…�

“His turn? You don’t game on someone you care for! You say ‘not this one’ and put ‘em down with your fist till they listen. I would have put the Emperor down over Ysabel.�

Gils filled Owyn’s glass absentmindedly and set the brandy bottle down on the cabinet. Owyn downed the glass and then grabbed the bottle, tipping it up before refilling his glass.

“And another thing, Khajiit aren’t like…hic…humans. Start one and they’re bound to you for life. She‘s not…hic…started yet, so stay away from her. You won’t stick with her…you’ll screw it up for her with Fathis Aren if you touch her.�

“He broke with her when Aggie gave her that ring.�

“Is that why you gamed on her? To get rid of Fathis? Man, you’re a real piece of work, you know that? Damn Gils, you and Ag…hic…anak deserve…er…what was I saying?�

“You were telling me about a secret…“

“What, his problem?� Owyn pointed downward. “What the hell does it matter if he can‘t?� Owyn made a sloppy hole with the fingers of one hand and tried to run a finger from the other hand through the hole but kept missing. “I can’t do it right now…but you get the idea…what was I saying? Oh yeah. He’s crazy! You let that nutty Orc…hic…game on her. That’s as low as you can get.�

“You know about Agronak?�

“You think I’m as dumb as him? I know everything that goes on ‘round here…or doesn‘t…hic…in his case.�

Gils shook his head as if to clear it.

“Owyn, Maxical sent that deed back to Aggie. He was outside the door when I left to get her dinner. That’s what took so long, I didn’t leave till I was sure he was gone. Make sure she doesn’t go out alone.�

“Hic! He’ll be in jail…soon as Jack files assault charges…hic…Maxical‘s shoulder.�

“…Why would Jack file them?� Gils voice reflected surprise.

“Why, did you think you could sweet talk her out of filing charges?� Owyn’s voice raised to a bellow on his last words.

His face infused purple as he slammed his fist down on the cabinet and then pointed a shaking finger in Gils‘ face. “I’m this close to throwing you out of here, just let me see you take that Orc‘s side in this. You ain’t learned a thing in twenty years! You stay the hell away from her with your love [censored] bull [censored] [censored] you worthless piece of [censored] [censored].�

Gils went to an empty mat by the fount and slumped down, images of his fathers last days surfacing in his mind. Agronak visiting his sickbed nightly…just like he did with his mother…no. Agronak could never do those things. Owyn was just drunk and spouting.

“Gils? Are you okay?� Maxical’s face peered down into his.

“Some things Owyn said are bothering me. Come on, lets go to the bathing room.�









******* Maxical

Gils was laying on his back staring at the ceiling, his eyes looked bleak and full of an inner turmoil. I had never seen him unhappy before. He got up quickly after I disturbed him, but his eyes reflected a mind that was still mulling the problem. I followed him to our mats in the bathing room and watched him slump down.

“What’s wrong Gils? I’ve never seen you so upset, do you want to talk about it?�

Gils shook his head. “I need to stop thinking about it…or it‘ll drive me crazy. Talk to me about something else. How was your dinner? Did you eat the crab?�

“Dinner was fine. The crab was…good. But it made me feel funny, kind of like…a hunger.�

Gils rolled over so he faced me and rested his head on his hand. “That’s what the book said is supposed to happen. What were you doing with your tail when I brought your dinner in?�

“Nothing.�

“Talk to me.�

“Well…no one ever touched it but me before. It feels funny where you grabbed it. I was just trying to see why it didn't feel that way when I squeezed it like you did.“

“A good feeling?�

“Yeah, kind of.�

“Like how?�

“It‘s…pleasurable but…agonizing at the same time.�

Gils sat up, the molten lava in his eyes glowing. “Do you know what that means?�

“No.�

“It means Khajiit are not Orc.�

“You mean because I am a mix?�

Gils gaped. “…How did you know that’s what I meant?�

“I’ve worried about that a lot, especially since Fathis is so experienced.�

“Worried about what?�

“Being like Agronak, you know. Geez, and I thought I was dumb.�

“You’re not dumb, you know. Just naïve. Now tell me what you’re talking about.�

“Everyone knows the offspring of an Orc mix…can’t.� I gave Owyn’s graphic hand signal to demonstrate. “The technical term is asexual. I’ve always worried Khajiit mixes might be the same.“

“…I can’t believe I am hearing this! How could everyone know this about Orc mixes?�

“It’s common knowledge, you can read it in texts in school. I learned about it at the Arcane.�

“I wonder how many other people know about it?�

“Anyone who reads, goes to school…there are childhood rhymes about it.� I glanced at Gils to see if he believed me.

“Rhymes?�

“Sure. Orc will even breed a duck, but their offspring cannot [censored]. There are tons of them. Andronicus and I heard a bunch of them when we were in the jail cell.�

Gils stared hard at me.

“Then there are the usual ‘How many Orc mixes does it take to screw a candle into a sconce’ jokes.�

“How many?“

“None, they can’t screw. Then there are limericks:

The notes on racial phylogeny
say an Orc mix produces misogyny
though he'll have something dangling
it won't do no wrangling
nor anything else it oughta be�


“You mean all this time Agronak thought it was a secret, but really everyone knew about it?�

“Yep. I was probably the worst student at the Arcane, so if I know it everyone does. Besides, he has no male aura. Even someone as…naïve as me could tell that.�

“What is that?�

“Gils, if anyone knows about that it is you. You exude it like Fathis does, like a torrent instead of just a faint sense.�

“I am dreaming this conversation and will wake up soon.� Gils collapsed onto his back on the mat.

“Okay, look. I know I’m dumb, but even I can pick up on this intangible scent or aura that men emit. Agronak doesn’t emit any at all. I knew instantly when I met him even before I knew he was mixed. That‘s why I felt safe hanging out with him when I was promised to Fathis...and didn‘t hang out with you.�

“So everyone knows.�

“Every school child...everyone.�

“Well there is a lifetime wasted helping him cover up.�

“Pretty much.�

“So, I put out torrents of it?�

“Yes. It is…distracting.�

“Maxical, that reaction you had proves you have nothing to worry about.�

“Whew! That makes me feel so much better!“

I turned away so Gils couldn’t see what I was doing and looked at the end of my tail. All the fidgeting I had done tonight had worn patches of its fine fur away. It looked ratty with bald places, embarrassing.

“This truce has got to go and fast. Say Maxical, have you ever heard back from Fathis? Have you made up?�

“…No.�

“What are you doing?� Gils sat up.

“Nothing.� I dropped my tail.

“Look what you’ve done to your tail Maxical!� Gils eyed the bald spots. “What’s going on with it?�

“I don’t know, I think I need to see Hannibal.�

“You want me to rub some wound balm on it?�

“NO! I don’t think you should touch it again.�

“You’re right, I better not.� Gils took my hand.

His eyes were intense, glowing. “Fathis will probably be at the music festival. If it is him you want then you better get him to start you. I’ve made no secret how I feel about you, and I’ll be coming for you if he hasn’t made his move by the time our truce ends.�


*

Hmmmm, that story reminds me of when I was young, and I discovered I had a tail, and I couldn't stop touching it until the tip was worn bald and shiny -


.

.wait a minute...

....


DANG! That must have been a DREAM, for I'm not a Khajit, am I?



Things are SO confusing at that age. I STILL don't understand why everybody was saying that I needed to have lessons in how to fish.

I mean, I ALREADY knew how to fish! I knew how to bait and everything!!! I didn't need to attend any master baiting classes!!!

I shall have to warn Juneipurr to stop chasing her tail if she doesn't want to go blind... Of course, I have heard of men who were blind to everything else because they were chasing... um. And if Gils found some of the fur Maxical wore off from fidgeting would that mean he had gotten a piece of... ? Yes, right. Where were we?

The plot ... no, better just leave that phrase by the side of the road, as well...

Agronak is going to discover that cats are dangerous and subtle enemies- and he will probably never quite know what happened to him.