It's quite, quite true.

And now for more pure insanity with everyone's favourite unhinged pyromancer, Terrena Calmenin! I find myself worried by how easily I can get into her head...


Dear Diary

I made a friend today! His name is Kharjo and he's helping me around Skyrim after I got him an amulet that had been stolen. I had to kill some bandits in a tower over a river, but after that I found him the amulet and he was so grateful he decided to come with he across Skyrim, and it's great. Don't tell anyone, but I think he's kind of hot.

No, seriously, don't. I know you've been talking about me behind my back with my copy of Darkest Darkness. If you tell that bitch anything about Kharjo I'll go tell her what you and the Wolf Queen Volume II have been doing when she can't see. Yeah, I know. That stopped you, didn't it?

Aaanyway, we were near Riften, so we figured we'd head into town to see what was going on. There were some guards there who said I had to pay to get in but I was like 'Nuh-uh!' and then told them I'd burn them alive if they didn't let me in so they did. Girl power!

When I was inside, I told a smith named Balimund I'd help him get Fire Salts to make his forge hotter (more fire is good for everyone!) and I met a man named Brynjolf who said he wanted my help.

--------------

"You look like somebody who's never done an honest day's work in your life, eh lass?" the well-dressed Nord who passed Terrena in the street asked her.

"Whats that suppose to mean?" Terrena asked. "Have you been following me? You've been following me, haven't you!"

She grabbed him by the collar and drew him eye to eye, flames crackling in her free hand.

"I knew somebody had been following me," she hissed. "And I should've guessed it would be you of all people!"

"I...what? I haven't been following you!" the Nord protested. "I swear! Gods above!"

"You haven't?" Terrena asked. She released her grip on his shirt and he stumbled back. "That's okay then."

The Nord shook his head.

"Gods above, what's wrong with you?" he asked.

"According to a Priest of Mara I used to know, dissasociative personality disorder possibly caused by some kind of repressed trauma," Terrena said. "But then the voices in my head told me he was planning to betray me so I had to kill him, because you should always trust the voices in your head."

There was silence. The Nord exchanged a baffled look with Kharjo. The Khajiit just shrugged.

"Right, maybe we should start at the top," the Nord said. "I'm Brynjolf. I was hoping you could do me a favour."

"OK," Terrena said. "What do you need?"

"I need you to get me a ring, and plant it on another Dunmer by the name of Brand-Shei," Brynjolf said. "But without him knowing about it, you see."

"Oh, you mean like a surprise present? Surprise presents are nice, I'll help," Terrena nodded enthusiastically.

"It's...yes, it's a surprise present for him," Brynjolf said. "It's a silver ring being kept at Madesi's stall, so all you need to do is get it from there and then slip it into Brand-Shei's pocket while I distract everybody."

"Alright then! Yay for presents!"

-------------

I did such a good job of giving Brand-Shei his surprise present that Brynjolf said he could use my help in the future! I'm a good helper, yay for me!

omfg

Darkest Darkness is such a blabbermouth! XD

Wow, Mustard. Terrena is... terrifying. I want to laugh, but there's this chill on my neck.

Someone has been watching the Jodi Arias trial, lol.

I'm a little worried for Kharjo...

GAAAAAH! What happened?

Wait doesn't everybody do that?

???

/joke

I'm guessing it's the company he keeps. Also, who's Jodi Arias?

A young girl with a dissasociative personality disorder possibly caused by some kind of repressed trauma, who thought her boyfriend was planning to betray her so she had to kill him. Now she says the voices in her head made her do it, and thinks you should always trust the voices in your head because they are from the god she worships.

I...

That is a weird, weird coincidence...

[quote name='Colonel Mustard' date='Mar 27 2013, 08:51 AM' post='159595']
[quote name='mALX' post='159594' date='Mar 27 2013, 01:50 PM']
[quote name='Colonel Mustard' post='159583' date='Mar 27 2013, 03:16 AM']
[/quote]I'm guessing it's the company he keeps. Also, who's Jodi Arias?
[/quote]
A young girl with a dissasociative personality disorder possibly caused by some kind of repressed trauma, who thought her boyfriend was planning to betray her so she had to kill him. Now she says the voices in her head made her do it, and thinks you should always trust the voices in your head because they are from the god she worships.
[/quote]
I...

That is weird, weird coincidence...
[/quote]
Wow, that exists?!

[quote name='Elisabeth Hollow' date='Mar 27 2013, 01:55 PM' post='159598']
[quote name='Colonel Mustard' date='Mar 27 2013, 08:51 AM' post='159595']
[quote name='mALX' post='159594' date='Mar 27 2013, 01:50 PM']
[quote name='Colonel Mustard' post='159583' date='Mar 27 2013, 03:16 AM']
[/quote]I'm guessing it's the company he keeps. Also, who's Jodi Arias?
[/quote]
A young girl with a dissasociative personality disorder possibly caused by some kind of repressed trauma, who thought her boyfriend was planning to betray her so she had to kill him. Now she says the voices in her head made her do it, and thinks you should always trust the voices in your head because they are from the god she worships.
[/quote]
I...

That is a weird, weird coincidence...
[/quote]
Wow, that exists?!
[/quote]
What, coincidence exists ofr disasociative personality disorder possibly caused by some kind of repressed trauma exists?

Not the coincidence. I thought the disorder itself was really rare, though a lot of people probably slip under the radar.

Tirdas, 9:09 PM, 21st of Rain's Hand

"You arrived in time. I think those vampires were getting rather hungry".

Lord Haaf-Mersey and his annoying (but deadly) partner Mjoll the Lioness are walking north towards Dragon Bridge, as colored lights (blue and green) blaze across the night sky. They have rescued Dexion Evicus, the Moth Priest who came to Skyrim from Cyrodiil.

"'Tis of no concern, my good fellow." Haaf-Mersey answers the Moth Priest. "For 'twas of very scornful natures, those wretched beings. They must be rid from the presence of Skyrim."

Lord Haarf-Mersey initially had been planning on going to Pinemoon Cave and Wolfskull Cave, in service of Falk Firebrand and Solitude, but as the Moth Priest started to wander away, the crusader from Cyrodiil decided he and Mjoll must join him. They must! ... He cannot make the trip alone.

"I wemember a cut-puhse tried to rub me on da road once. When I drew Greemserver, I t'ink de poor man soyled his arrdmors!" Mjoll babbles to Dexion.

She seems happy to have somebody else to babble to, the Lord thinks to himself.

The trio heads north towards Dragon Bridge, and then turns roughly east towards Solitude. As they travel they are attacked by a Dark Brothhood Initiate! Haaf-Mersey fights the assassin at first, a few blows from his exquisite-strength dwarven sword stun the assassin! ... Then he lets Mjoll handle things from there. Armed with a new mace which has an occasional paralyzing effect within its nature (not to mention an ice storm staff) Mjoll can handle herself just fine. The crusader from Cyrodiil walks away from this melee, hoping the Moth Priest has not wandered too far. He has not.

"My moddher was a sdddrong woman" Mjoll says as she catches up to Haaf-Mersey and Dexion. "She's de one who insdddructed me on my sword fighting techniques. Can you imagine?"

"Thank the divines for you," answers Dexion the Moth Priest.

The trio walk under Solitude (I am really curious to see where the heck he goes!) and then away from it. Eventually the Moth Priest leaves the road, and starts walking towards a beach area. He walks here, and then walks off the beach, wading though shallow water to a small island.

As the sky lightens from a dazzling set of colors to a dismal grey, Lord Haaf-Mersey must Calm some horkers into submission Swoof!, yet the Moth Priest does not seem to attract any sort of attack, even as he wanders too near one of these menaces, and Haaf-Mersey's spell misses its target.

6:06 AM
Dexion, the Moth Priest from Cyrodiil's White Gold Tower eventually finds a spot, climbs into the freezing cold Sea of Ghosts, and climbs back out again. He does this several times (apparently getting used to the water) and then finally swims away.

"An oddity, that one. Does he not knoweth one can just hire a carriage?"

The Lord and Mjoll both shrug, and walk away.

Lord Haaf-Mersey also joined the Bard's College, which none of my others have done so far. Although LHM is not a singer or proficient with any musical instruments, he heard that the BC trains Speechcraft, and this is a skill he wants to improve. It'll be cool for his type of character to actually be able to persuade others occasionally.

Has anyone ever noticed how terrifying the old women in Skyrim are? IN Oblivion they looked sweet and sounded sweet. Gehhhh.

Sven's mother is sweet, he is verbally abusive to her. Didn't like the idea of helping him get Camilla after seeing how he treated his own mother.

His mom is fine, but that doesn't change the fact that the old women scare me lol.

He really was a jerk to her. I always helped Faendal. Then I realized that Faendal was just as childish. So I help neither of them now.

That's what I ended up doing - nothing. The quest sits unfinished in my journal.

There is an old saying: "All's fair in love and war." So I do not mind that either one is sneaky and underhanded. Taking the high road in love is a sure fire way of ending up alone and watching some a-hole pile-driving the person you love.

That said, all but one of my characters has helped Faendal. As the only wood elf in a Nord village, he's the odd man out. Sven also strikes me as a lazy blockhead. He is supposed to work at the mill, but I have never seen him there cutting wood, like Faendal does.

Dude, I lost it at "pile driving the person you love" XD

If you read the letters they want you to give Camilla, it just...I don't know, they made me laugh, but at the same time, I thought that Camilla deserved someone less childish.

I wore the Amulet of Mara over there once and she was like "Oh, you're not taken?" and I was like... "No Camilla. No. My heart belongs to someone else."

XD

Besides, if you marry her, Faendal comes and "visits" her anyways.

Mhmmm.

Well, you were not expecting something deep and moving from an Elder Scrolls game were you!



I know, she's the town skank!



Threesome!

Was that too much to ask for? XD

Sven's mom is a nasty piece of work. Jensa got a real ear full of racist talk from her. Also she smothers “her boy” Sven, and Sven apparently doesn’t have the balls to leave home (just like she raised him, lol). Lucky for Sven Jensa had balls enough for both of them. Since Jensa was a country bumpkin fresh off the mountain it didn’t take much for Sven to impress her with his bardliness. But that impression didn’t last long.

I like the way that little quest is put together. You can go tattle on the one who gives you the letter to the other guy, play along with the deception, or just straight up tell Camilla that one of them is a filthy lying hog. Or ignore the lot of them, as several of my characters have done.

Don't forget, they don't call Faendal a 'wood' elf for nothing either...

All things considered she should have hooked up with Woody. I mean Camilla can’t decide between him and a Nord, so I guess Faendal has it going on.

SPEW!

Ohhhh... XD

Today Aela nearly killed all of the Companions single-handedly. Well, she had a little help from a mammoth and a bear. She was making her way to the College from Mzulft when she ran across three of the Companions attacking a mammoth. So naturally Aela joined in to protect the mammoth. Scratch Aela, Skjor, and either Njada or Ria (not sure which). Then just about a hundred feet away she found three more Companions attacking a bear. Three more dead Companions. I think one more encounter and she will have cleaned them out entirely!

Aela has turned out to be my most uber mage ever in Skyrim. She is not even level 20 yet, and already has over 500 magicka, and a magicka regen of something like 250%. All Restoration and Conjuration too. She uses Absorb Health spells, so her Restoration is offense and defense, and is over 60 now.

Holy crap! That's a lot of magicka!!

Wow, this is epic!



Wha-? Oh...'cause of mods, right? Or Console commands? if not these, then HOW did you get this to happen?

Partly two mods of mine. One gives the Gauldr Amulet a +50 bonus to each of the three attributes rather than 30. 30 seemed pointless to me when I could buy things that give better bonuses from merchants. The other is my standing stone mod, that improves the powers. Aela is using my version of the Apprentice, which like in Oblivion gives a +100 to magicka.

Other than that, all of her magicka is pure vanilla. She has the Mages Circlet that Savos Aren gave her. Plus a ring and pair of gloves she enchanted for more magicka. That and of course every level she has taken magicka. As a pure mage, that is all she really needs.

Mmm hmmm. Sounds like it, hon!

Loredas, 8:08 AM, 2nd of Second Seed

Lord Haaf-Mersey

Class: Crusader
Level: 38

Health: 260
Magicka: 230
Stamina: 230

Locations Discovered[u]: 126
[u]Dungeons Cleared: 65

Days Passed: 258
Hours Slept : 1956
Hours Waited: 1398

Gold Found: 118,766

DG Quests Completed: 4
Quests Completed: 23
Misc Objtvs Cmptd: 89
Main Quests Cmptd: 11
Side Quests Cmptd: 10

Fave Spell: Detect Life

Items Stolen: 9

"You shouldd have seen me at da height of my adddventurddding carddeer. I was feerless, and took too many reesks. But dhat's whad it was all aboud."

"And as such, thy mastering of a vari'ty of weapons and magics has fostered both temperance, and a pillar of strength. Ye have much to purport boastfulness upon, my dearest Mjoll."

Lord Haaf-Mersey and Mjoll the Lioness walk in the morning sun. A group of bandits had challenged them as they had walked through Helgen, and these bandits had fallen. Haaf-Mersey had tried to "spread the light" amongst these ruffians. Just one of them had been convinced to see the way of the Nine, but the others had merely attacked.

"Soon we shalt make our approach. Mine home. Lakeview."

The pair walks by an initial cottage, one known as Pinewatch. A dark elf had been living here, one who keeps to himself, mostly. As they approach Haaf-Mersey's manor, they are attacked by a group of three who hide in the bushes. As his fame has grown over the weeks and months, word has apparently spread of where the "Crusader from Cyrodiil" had been living, for there often seems to be somebody lying in wait for him, near his own home.

"Blasted Marcurio. Where is the man?" Haaf-Mersey is irked. "For should it not be his duty, as he lives upon mine land, that he should manage and keep it free of such vermin?"

"I love da coldd air", answers Mjoll the Lioness, unconcerned with her boyfriend's complaints. "Perhaps it's because of my Nordddic blood, but there's something about it that makes me feel a-live".

"Come come, m'ladey. Welcome to mine".

Lord Haaf-Mersey starts to walk with Mjoll the Lioness into Lakeview Manor, then he sports Marcurio standing over by the kiln.


11:53 Am

"Well, look what the horker dragged in! Still wandering all over Skyrim and causing trouble?"

"Marcurio, we must make discuss, as of now."

"My skill in battle is un-matched. Fortunately for you, that skill can be bought".

"Why are ruffians and cut-throats possessing easy ability to dwell in wait upon my lands? Ye have performed thine duties of such impeccability otherwise, yet I must ask ye to make exit from this place."

Marcurio the wizard does not seem to get Haaf-Mersey's point, or perhaps (after all this time) he still does not understand his higher ways of speech. "Looks like you've got some help already," he says. "I'll join you, but you'll have to let your comrade go. What do you say?"

"I am asking ye to vacate this property," Haaf-Mersey tries, speaking more plainly.

Marcurio does not reply, instead he walks calmly over to an open vein located somewhat to the right of the house. He starts mining up some ore, then. Perhaps he thinks Haaf-Mersey's request is some sort of joke. But before he can further address this issue, his little ball of sunshine approaches from behind.

"Papa, you're back!" says Lucia. "Did you bring me anything?"

"Ah the radiance of the little one. I have made travells all across these lands, and have now returned with many things". Haaf-Mersey bluffs. He is not sure if he has a gift for her or not. As usual, his dangerous occupation kept him from preoccupied. He has not thought of Lucia in awhile. "What sort of present might ye seeketh?"

"I'd really like a dolly. Or maybe a pretty new dress?"

The Lord now kicks himself, mentally. He checks his baggage, and the satchels upon his horse, and kicks himself. He has nothing to give to Lucia.

"Aawww, stop teasing me!" Lucia starts walking away sadly at this.

"The only thing better than a mage at your side in battle is....well ... nothing," Marcurio reminds Haaf-Mersey at this moment, as Lucia is disappointed and the sun shines from above.

Ignoring the wizard, Lord Haaf-Mersey makes his way into the house, and starts to prepare for what is to come next.


3:59 PM
Lord Haaf-Mersey spends several hours showing Mjoll around, and organizing his things. Lakeview currently consists of a furnished intial room (where Marcurio had been sleeping), as well as a main area, which includes a dining room, storage spaces, and two bedrooms: one for him and one for Lucia. He had wanted to expand his manor further a few weeks earlier, but had not been able to find any nearby clay deposits to mine from. He needed clay (his architect's handbook had informed) to build a foundation first. Then he would be able to expand Lakeview.

He and Mjoll have some wine dinner, do a bit of cooking, and then the Lord makes his way to bed early. Tomorrow will be an important day.


Sundas, 8:01 AM
The next morning, the Lord dons a set of 'red robes' (which are actually more of a worn linen color), and invites his girlfriend down into his man cave. Here he had erected a small shrine several months earlier. Only one idol stands upon this shrine, though: dedicated to Stendarr. Haaf-Mersey would have preferred Dibella, perhaps, but he has been all over Skyrim looking for the perfect spot to pop the question. In Solitude his choices (for instance) were limited to the Hall of the Dead and another such sordid place. He could not find a more pertinent spot.

"Go ahead, Mjoll."

"Anytheeng. As long as I get to fight!" Mjoll answers.

"No fighting today. Place thine hands upon the erection of Stendarr."

"No problddem. I'll handddle eet".

"Feel the mighty power of the Gods, as thine resilience beckons forth."

"Deed you need anything else, before you go?" she says, after she accepts the blessing of Stendarr.

She still hasn't got a clue, Haaf-Mersey thinks. Always paranoid that he will leave her, this one is. Quite the opposite is true.

"No. As a fact of matter, cometh with me. Let us bask in the glory of the naturals of Skyrim's day," he says, suddenly realizing that his 'man cave' will be a rather ... unromantic place to bring up the subject at hand.



10:01 AM
Once outside, Haaf-Mersey leads her to the edge of an unfinished room. They stand upon a second story of this room, which is open to the air. Lake Ilinalta rests in the distance. He takes her hand, giving her a golden ring.

"'Tis upon this day that the Gods have smiled upon", he says to the awful gray fog which resides throught the air. "Willt thou taketh me, and as desire and hope make exaltation from within, as thine faithful husband?"

"Is that an Amdulet of Marda? I am surprisedd you are not marrieddd!"

"Let us commence, then. That thine ephervesence be true, and as such dwell within all throughout. Conjoining our unity as one".

"I am!" Mjoll answers with a rather forced and practical glee. She gets more excited about battle, Haaf-Mersey notices. "I'd be gladdd to standd by your side, and let the divines take us. If you'll have me."

"Then let it be so."

"Together!" Mjoll says happily. And the deed is finally done.

*throws confetti*

Great update, Lady Saga, especially the ending, his proposition sounds so funny because of the way he speaks.



Is that a reference to one of your other characters?

And "as a fact of matter" made me laugh.

----

Maybe I'll start posting stories of Red Archer in this thread since they'll be closer to updates than to fan fiction.

All together now: d'awwwwwww!

Congrats to LHM and MtL! They’ll have a lively household with both Mjoll and Marcurio talking so highly about themselves.

CUUUUUUTE!!!! Tell us who attends the wedding!!!!

Aww thanks everyone. LHM made it to Riften last night, but he hasn't gone in the chapel yet. I'm saving those moments so I can write about them for sure!



Yes it is. That dark elf is The Mighty Khahkhayre, a spellsword I was RPing last summer who retired in Pinewatch. Maybe one day when LHM also 'retires' (or at least slows down his adventuring) he and Khahkhayre will meet.

Mycharonna the Ice Witch has returned to the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary, where she spoke to Astrid, was told to climb inside a 'coffin', and then wait for Cicero to show up and speak to somebody. Astrid is paranoid that Cicero is up to no good. The Night Mother spoke to Mycharonna, telling her many things that I've already half-forgotten Currently Mycharonna is sitting on a throne in Babette's room. Babette is the little girl vampiress who sells and trades, and Mycharonna feels akin to this miniature vampiress.

I must admit I love listening to Cicero. He's always babbling on about something! I keep thinking I'll get annoyed by him (he seems like he's supposed to be annoying) but I love listening to him hum and make strange little noises, and go off on tangents about random topics What a wack-job

Are there ranks in Skyrim DB like they are in Oblivion? I know I could look on UESP but I prefer getting spoiled on a forum because on UESP I could accidentally read something that I didn't intend to.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tamala Christophe was lying on a comfortable bed of her luxurious room at The Bannered Mare. It was around 3 AM and she had just returned from a night trip on which she 'relieved' several Whiterun residents of their coin purses. She had 509 gold by now and by the time she visits some more houses, she should be able to afford The Ring of Deft Hands besides some light armor. All in all, her arrival to Skyrim turned out to be a profitable one and she was slowly forgetting about her 'execution' at Helgen.

She repaid her kindness to Ralof's family by informing Jarl Balgruuf of the dragon attack but for the time being wasn't interested in searching for a stone tablet in a tomb full of undead. She was not a fighter and she avoided any fight when possible but she could never avoid a full coin purse! In fact, Ralof's family was one of the few that she didn't rob. Tamala tried to remember who exactly did she rob and in what order...

...first were the Valerius family who own The Riverwood trader and then Alvor the smith. She later regretted breaking into Alvor's house but everyone makes a mistake from time to time. Afraid that she might become a possible suspect because she was the only stranger in the village, she headed to Whiterun which turned out to be a heaven for a deft thief!

She took some gold from The Bannered Mare and then paid her room with the very same coins (amount of stolen gold was exactly the same as a price of a room rental). The next night she stole some gold from The Drunken Huntsman, Guard Barracks, Dragonsreach Dungeon, Jorrvaskr and Warmaiden's. Apart from gold, she also took some healing potions and a few more lockpicks.

The coming night she's planning to pay a visit to the house of clan Battle-Born and perhaps some other noble-looking house and in the end she plans to ransack Dragonsreach. Tamala knows that she will need a lot of money especially because she's thinking to hire a mercenary to accompany her to Riften. That is, if she can find one in Whiterun.

Skyrim is weird, in the sense that I believe there are some sort of ranks, but you won't be able to see them unless you go within the console kit?

Probably gettin' that wrong, so I'm not sure. I know in vanilla on PS3 or Xbox, there is no system of ranks or classes or any of that. Bethesda canned all that, and thought we would be 100% satisfied with Perks. I love perks, but I also love all the traditional stuff I grew up with in traditional RPGs. Classes, stats, that sort of thing.

Anyways: Cool, you've brought Tamala Cristophe's story here. Always cool to have somethings new to read, Lopov.

Today Skyrim Jerric and Darnand (Marcurio) had big fun in Dead Man’s Respite. Jerric has been carrying Dawnbreaker around but always forgets to use it. Wow. Good thing they don’t loot tombs. What a mess!

Also I’m not sure how it happened yet but it looked like Darnand was casting some kind of turn undead spell throughout the whole adventure. At one point they walked softy (Jerric is in steel plate so even though the game lets anyone sneak he just doesn’t) into one of those huge chambers that just has “you will die here” all over it. Jerric glanced over the many seated corpses that looked possibly not 100% completely dead, choosing his first target. Darnand made them all stand up and glow blue while he was still in the hallway. Then they ran around glowing while their boss popped his coffin lid even though Jerric was still in the doorway. It was go time.

It’s possible that Darnand had some scrolls, but I really hope this is a patch 1.9 improvement. That would be awesome.

Bahahahahaha!

*laughs*



What was that? He made them glow blue? You mean with Detect Life? I'm confused.

No, he hit them with a spell. They had kind of a bluish mist circling around them. At first I thought they were resurrected, but they were running away. It also looked a little like a shock spell sort of on them. Unfortunately I didn't get a long look because Jerric started getting his ass handed to him by the undead king so I had to focus.

Has anyone used the higher level Turn Undead spells? Maybe it was one of those. Either a spell or the scroll version. I have no idea exactly what scrolls Darnand (Marcurio) had, but Jerric gives them all to him.

Ahh I get it now. Darnand had cast a spell from a scroll. My chars. have hardly used spells from scrolls (we usually forget we have them, so mostly they just get sold or tossed somewhere) so that's very possible, then.

How does Jerric deal with Darnand's arrogance? Or does it bother Jerric at all like it does LHM?