Heh.
Anyway...
So I was walking down the street the other day. Well, I had to, y'see, they built it on a hill.
But they didn't stop there, y'see.
At the top of the hill, you've got Bottom Lane, and at the bottom of the hill, you've got Top street. And each of the two has a pharamacy. So you can get uppers from Top Street at the bottom of the hill, and downers from Bottom Lane at the top of the hill. And either one'll wear before you get halfway to the other.
So I was walking down the street, and I'd just passed one of the three cafe's; the Halfway House, which meant I was a third of the way down the street. There has to be three cafe's, y'see, because it's very difficult to get all the way from Bottom Lane to Top Street without stopping for a cuppa. So you've got one a third of the way up, called Nearly Down, one in the middle called Cuppa Time, and the last is a third of the way from the top, and called, as I said Halfway House. Gets 'em every time.
So anyway, I was walking down the street, past the Halfway House, carrying on down until I was halfway down, and there, y'see, I hit a problem.
Coming the other way was a big woman, and that was a problem. Y'see, she took up a lot of the pavement, and she was walking towards me, up the hill towards Bottom Lane, very quickly. So I tried to get out the way. But the cars were parked very closely on the one side, and there was a woman with her kids in a double-wide buggy on the other side, so I had nowhere to go, y'see.
And this woman, she didn't care that I couldn't get out of the way, and she just plowed into me, knocked me clear off my feet, backwards up the hill.
And I was stunned.
I was mortified.
I never thought I'd be knocked up in the middle of the street like that.